On The Vine: Your mere existence is miraculous
Hey, y’all. I am so excited to have this chance to talk directly with you here. Trey has created something special and I’m pumped — honored, really — to be trusted with it this week.
If you missed it last time around, some of the women on staff are taking over the newsletter in March for Women’s History Month.
Now, I’ve got to take a deep breath. Since we spoke last week, this video has made the rounds. I don’t recommend watching it. It dredges up a lot for me, and I imagine others, too. It’s damaging, plain and simple.
And stuff like this... it’s never an isolated incident.
Let’s recap real quick: A Missouri pastor told the women in his congregation that they need to lose weight and stay pretty for their husbands — to keep them from straying.
“Cuz I’m the preacher man, I’ll say it.” He seriously said it. He didn’t need to say it. But he said it.
“I really don’t believe women understand how visual men are.”
Believe me, we get it. We live it every day. We’ve asked you to stop. We’ve apologized for your gaze. Covered our shoulders in middle school (!!) as not to “distract” our male classmates or tempt our teachers. We’ve had men stalk us as we shop for our groceries, “complimenting” us with an up-and-down look. We walk with keys between our fingers, and portable mace is given as a gift.
The video is posted on Facebook. The user wrote: “Instead of teaching men and boys to take accountability for their actions and control themselves, he degrades women, victim blames, and points the finger at their mere existence. He fails to use Bible verses to back up his nonsense.”
He does use one Bible verse. He tells women they don’t have full ownership of their bodies.
Under the guise of Christianity… I’m sorry, hard to have the energy for this one today. I’m the daughter of a preacher who taught me and my three sisters that Christianity is about love, kindness and respect. Not this.
To the generations of women with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, survivors of assault and abuse — I see you, I’m here for you. To all my sisters: You’re beautiful and your mere existence is miraculous.
One last thing I think we need to get on the table: Believe women. Support women. All women.
Thank you, next.
Around the block
‘Defend Black Life’: KC marchers demand justice for Donnie Sanders
Donnie Sanders’ sisters are showing up, demanding justice in their brother’s death.
Star reporter Cortlynn Stark writes:
Reshonda Sanders, the little sister of Donnie Sanders who was shot and killed by police last year, said during a Saturday protest that she just wants justice.
“We just want justice,” she said. “We just want justice.”
A group of more than 50 protesters marched along Ward Parkway from Arno Park to Prosecutor Jean Peters Baker’s house Saturday afternoon to call for justice for Donnie Sanders.
Donnie Sanders’ older sister, Youlanda Sanders, said he didn’t deserve to die for a traffic stop.
“Man I miss my little brother,” she said, adding that she has also lost her son. “I’m tired. This ain’t right.”
Sanders was 47 years old when Kansas City Police Officer Blayne Newton fatally shot him. The 24-year-old officer won’t face charges in Sanders’ killing. The prosecutor’s office said there wasn’t sufficient evidence.
Sanders’ name was one of four (also: Ryan Stokes, Cameron Lamb and Terrance Bridges) chanted last summer at Kansas City protests in the months following the killing of George Floyd — another unarmed Black man who died at the hands of police.
The prosecutor sent her condolences to the family for their loss via Twitter and his sister, Reshonda Sanders, said they’ll “keep going... until we get some form of justice.”
Soccer homecoming and celebration: What a day for women in sports at KC’s Union Station
The National Women’s Soccer League in Kansas City was welcomed home on International Women’s Day, marking a significant moment in the KC sports scene.
Angie Long — one of the few female owners in professional sports — spoke at a homecoming and celebration at Union Station on Monday. She’s one of many talented women at the forefront of NWSL in Kansas City.
The importance of this team — and this moment at Union Station — is not lost on me. I hope we as a community can uphold these women, the athletes and the team leaders, as they embark on their season.
Shaun Goodwin writes for The Star:
As a giant banner reached its apex and the gaze of Kansas City NWSL’s Amy Rodriguez, Nicole Barnhart and Lo LaBonta settled upon the crowd gathered Monday at Union Station’s Grand Plaza, Abigail Long approached her mother.
“Thanks, Mom,” the teenager said, as cheers erupted to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.”
Angie Long, typically the steadfast woman at the head of Kansas City’s new National Women’s Soccer League team, couldn’t help it that her eyes watered a little.
“We have great kids,” Long, co-owner of the team, said. “But for a teenager to be so appreciative and really understand and comprehend the moment of this women’s team, and what it means for Kansas City on International Women’s Day, it was really powerful.”
I long for days sitting in a stadium with a beer and soft pretzel with plenty of stadium cheese. Once it’s safe — and I’m vaccinated — I’ll be in the stands cheering on Kansas City’s newest pro team. Even better when I get to be cheering on fellow women, representing my city, in my favorite sport.
Les Miles out as KU Jayhawks football coach days after harassment allegations emerge
Les Miles and Kansas football mutually decided to part ways, KU announced with no mention of the sexual harassment allegations lodged against Miles at LSU, which were made public last week.
“We need to win football games,” former-athletics director Jeff Long said in a release circulated on social media. “And that is exactly what we’re going to do.”
Full disclosure: I’m a KU grad who maybe went to ~ three and half ~ football games during my three and a half years on the Hill. The running joke, I’m sure we all know, is the football team. We used to say “at least we have basketball...” Here’s hoping that turns around.
That’s beside the point — and that’s my point. No mention of how Miles allegedly treated young women was made. Instead the focus was on how to get a notoriously bad team to win games again. Oh, and Miles will get nearly $2 million in a settlement agreement.
The program also announced Long would step down from his role. Long came under fire in recent days following the revelation of allegations. In question was how much he knew about the allegations before hiring Miles.
In case you missed it...
Missouri man used N-word, mentioned noose while threatening to kill Rep. Cleaver: DOJ
Roger Marshall seeks battle on transgender student-athletes in COVID-19 vote-a-rama
Flooding forced tenants out. They want more help from their landlord, and Kansas City
Beyond the block
Harry and Meghan and ‘the optical illusion of progress’
Harry and Meghan and Oprah. I’m sure you’ve all watched Sunday’s tell-all or seen the highlights: the thoughts of suicide, the questions about baby Archie’s skin tone, the utter lack of support. Racism has consequences, and it drove the royal couple to flee the U.K. oppression and try to find freedom in California.
What can I say? In moments like these I turn to my friend Jeneé Osterheldt, a former Star columnist who now spreads her messages about racism and inclusivity via the Boston Globe. Jeneé, like Meghan, is mixed. She writes of personal pain against the backdrop of national and global issues. I’m just going to lay out some of her tweets from Sunday night, because she says it better than I ever could:
“People got so caught up in the fantasy of the crown, him being a prince, her being a Black woman. Their love story was beautiful. But interracial marriages aren’t racism bandaids. They needed support not the pressure to be the optical illusion of progress.”
“I wish people really understood the myriad of ways racism kills us and how seriously it must be taken as a public health crisis.”
(Everyone thought Meghan had made sister-in-law Kate Middleton cry, but it was the other way around. Blogger Hannah Drake tweeted: “Black women: Raise your hand if you have ever been accused of making a White woman cry?”)
Jeneé tweeted:
“And it didn’t occur to them that Meghan was in pain or that her child would need security because the racist perception is that Black folk don’t feel pain and aren’t in need of nurturing. And there’s data out there to prove it.”
Since then, the palace issued a statement saying it was all quite “concerning” and would be dealt with privately. And Piers Morgan quit “Good Morning Britain,” basically for trashing Meghan.
Racism, sexism and changing times
Let me revisit last week’s news a second. After we heard that six Dr. Seuss books will no longer be published because of some pretty terrible images — Asian men with slanted lines for eyes, African cannibals with bulbous lips — The Star talked to a Kansas State University professor, Philip Nel, who’s a Seuss expert. He’s a white man, so he speaks more from observation than experience.
So was Dr. Seuss, aka Theodor Seuss Geisel, a racist? It’s complicated.
“Just to be clear,” Nel told The Star, “I don’t think he is consciously trying to reproduce racist imagery, even when he is. I think he is doing it unconsciously. … But then there is also this other side of Seuss that will call out racism, or try to write anti-racist fables.” (I’m thinking “Horton Hears a Who!,” “The Sneetches,” “Yertle the Turtle.”)
“And I think what a lot of people have a hard time holding onto is the notion that someone can do both.”
In a similar vein, The Washington Post Magazine writes about the incredible sexism in stories about young female celebrities less than 20 years ago:
‘Reading the story today makes me cringe’: Female stars and the media machine of the early 2000s
Such as the 2004 Rolling Stone profile of then-18-year-old Lindsay Lohan that just kept going on about her breasts. The writer discerned they were real after “a goodbye hug.” Eww.
“In 2021, these sentences are objectively disgusting,” writes Jessica M. Goldstein. “But they fit right in with the media of that moment.”
And then we have Pepe Le Pew. In his New York Times column about the racism of Dr. Seuss, Charles M. Blow also took a jab at other icons from our youth: “Some of the first cartoons I can remember included Pepé Le Pew, who normalized rape culture; Speedy Gonzales, whose friends helped popularize the corrosive stereotype of the drunk and lethargic Mexicans; and Mammy Two Shoes, a heavyset Black maid who spoke in a heavy accent.”
When I was a kid, I never noticed. But now? Oh yeah.
Blow faced some blowback, especially about the Looney Tunes lothario skunk. So he doubled down on Twitter:
“RW blogs are mad bc I said Pepe Le Pew added to rape culture. Let’s see.
1. He grabs/kisses a girl/stranger, repeatedly, w/o consent and against her will.
2. She struggles mightily to get away from him, but he won’t release her
3. He locks a door to prevent her from escaping.”
And then this:
“This helped teach boys that ‘no’ didn’t really mean no, that it was a part of ‘the game,’ the starting line of a power struggle. It taught overcoming a woman’s strenuous, even physical objections, was normal, adorable, funny. They didn’t even give the woman the ability to SPEAK.”
Yeah, you could say it was a different time. But times change. If you do not like it, Sam-I-Am, you’ll just have to get over it.
In case you missed it …
- Amanda Gorman Says She Was Racially Profiled Near Her Los Angeles Home
- Biden administration to review Trump-era policies on campus sexual assault
A Mexican restaurant in Texas kept its mask rule. People threatened to call ICE on the staff
How a Holocaust survivor showed up for a vaccine and charmed a hospital
If you are hesitant to get the COVID-19 vaccine, or thinking your life is pretty crappy, read this New York Times story about 97-year-old Mira Rosenblatt, who just got her shot in Brooklyn. “She said, ‘I am not nervous. I’ve been through way worse.’ Then she started telling her story.”
Rosenblatt is a Holocaust survivor. She escaped a labor camp in Poland and hid in the forest, digging into frozen ground to find worms to eat, sleeping in holes under the snow for warmth. Eventually, she blended in with some dairy farmers until the war ended six months later.
“When you have someone who has survived something like this, you can’t help but stand still,” one of the nurses there that day told the Times. “There were definitely tears. I had to ask someone to take over for me for a few minutes afterward because I felt shaky from the story.”
Rosenblatt wants to tell her story to as many people as possible. Hours after she got her vaccine, she was on a Zoom call with more than 250 people, telling her truth once again.
(This reminds me of a similar story we had in The Star a few years ago: An area musician wrote a song about how her grandmother survived the Holocaust. I cry every time I read it.)
For the culture
Oscar nominations coming up: Have you seen any of these movies?
I love going to the movies — I mean in a theater, bucket of popcorn in my lap, reclining back in those cushy seats and watching the HUGE screen. But no way is that happening for me until I am fully vaccinated against COVID-19.
So, yeah, I’m probably a reason that one of my favorite movie theaters, the Alamo Drafthouse Mainstreet in the Power & Light District, announced it is shutting down for good. I wish they could have waited just a little longer until this city opens up again. I would have gone right back and ordered another of those amazing milkshakes.
Instead I have been spending my money on streaming services, holed up at home, watching some really great TV series: “The Morning Show” and “Ted Lasso” on Apple TV+ (and hey, congratulations to KC’s own Jason Sudeikis on winning a Golden Globe AND Critics Choice Awards for that sweet show). “Watchmen” and “Succession” on HBO. “Schitt’s Creek” on Netflix. “The Mandalorian” and “WandaVision” on Disney+.
Which brings me to the Academy Award nominations coming out Monday, March 15. The experts with cinema crystal balls are predicting what will nab a best picture nod, and for once I have not seen many of the major possible contenders.
I don’t have “Hulu” (but I guess that will have to change), so I haven’t seen front-runner “Nomadland,” directed by Chloé Zhao. “Minari,” “Promising Young Woman” and “News of the World” are only available for streaming on demand, which means $19.99 a pop. I know, I’d pay that much for two of us to see it in a theater. But that’s different!
But thank you, Amazon, for “One Night in Miami,” and a big shout-out to Netflix for “The Trial of the Chicago 7,” “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” and “Da 5 Bloods,” co-written by director Spike Lee and Kansas filmmaker Kevin Willmott.
Justin Chang of the Los Angeles Times points out that the lack of blockbusters this past year left room for “an unprecedentedly diverse” slate of nominees for best picture and director — “an indication that movements including #OscarsSoWhite and #MeToo are making systemic inroads.”
There’s the silver lining.
Women dominate the Grammy Awards (well, at least the nominations)
But first, there’s another little awards show to watch: The Grammy Awards on Sunday, March 14, postponed by the pandemic from the original Jan. 31 date.
And now that we have the Grammy Awards during Women’s History Month, it’s pretty cool that the strongest contenders are women.
Beyonce leads with nine nominations. Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift are tied with Roddy Ricch for six. Women dominate record and song of the year and have half the nominees for album of the year. We’ll see who wins, but that’s a good start.
Kansas City has its share of nominees, mostly in classical categories. Here’s a story about the contenders with local ties.
In case you missed it …
Springtime for Kansas City restaurants: Here are the many signs of a business revival
Chiefs reach naming-rights deal for Arrowhead Stadium with Lee’s Summit-based GEHA (And by the way, it’s G-E-H-A, like NFL or NCAA, not like “gee-haw!”)
‘SNL’ skit goes on an awkward ride at Worlds of Fun, and Kansas Citians are loving it
Till next time!
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This story was originally published March 11, 2021 at 10:59 AM.
