5 years on, pain of ‘missed goodbyes’ during COVID-19 lingers in KC: ‘No closure’
As she stood by her mother’s grave at Memorial Park Cemetery in Kansas City, Kansas, Garnice “Gee Gee” Robertson still feels the pain of not having a proper farewell for her mother.
Robertson’s anguish was set in motion five years ago by the then recently declared COVID-19 pandemic and the sweeping stay-at-home orders that started on March 24, 2020, for much of the Kansas City metro.
For Robertson, all the attention on those dark days is a reminder that another disheartening anniversary is near. Her mother, Georgia Mae Clardy, died due to complications from COVID-19 on April 15, 2020. She is one of the multitudes of Americans who have been denied a sense of closure due to the restrictions placed on hospital visits and funerals in the early days of the pandemic.
Robertson says she has avoided frequent visits to her mother’s grave—each visit reopened wounds she wished would heal. “I saw my mom all the time,” Robertson said, her voice laced with emotion. After suffering a broken femur, Clardy, 89, was hospitalized. Robertson said her mother was returned to her nursing home at a time when the COVID-19 virus was in the facility. Clardy contracted the virus and returned to the hospital.
When the hospital called, Robertson was granted only four hours by her mother’s side before complications brought on by the virus claimed her mother’s life . “And then the next morning, she was gone,” Robertson said.
She had fought against the decisions that led to this—questioned why her mother was sent back to a facility already dealing with an outbreak. “If there’s a COVID outbreak, why isn’t she in her room?” she had asked, frustration bubbling over. The memories of FaceTime calls that never quite worked, her mother’s confusion at the screen, felt like poor substitutes for the warmth of a real embrace. She carries that anger still, knowing things could have been different.
And in the end, there was no real goodbye.
“Nobody could see her,” she recalled. “And so I felt my family members probably have a lot going on because they couldn’t see her at all. And then there is no closure.“
Robertson said there was a brief graveside service, but not the traditional funeral service she and her mother had planned and not the funeral service her mother deserved. “There were a lot of people in their cars, you know, so a few people did come out, but they [the funeral home] streamed it.”
Yet through the pain, there was gratitude. “Mama was 89 when she passed,” she reminded herself. “She didn’t quite make 90, but just the fact that she lived to be 89 and lived a good, full life is a blessing in itself.”
It was a thought she clung to, a small comfort in a grief that has yet to fade for her and her family.
A witness to extreme heartbreak
Gwendelrae Hicks, mortician and owner of Northern Star Mortuary in Kansas City, Kansas, witnessed the impact of the loss of these important and intensely personal rituals had on families firsthand. “The family was not able to say their goodbyes. It was basically immediate burial or direct cremation,” Hicks said.
The restrictions placed on funerals early in the COVID-19 pandemic began in March of 2020 and varied by location. Some restrictions included limits on the number of people who could attend funerals, requirements for social distancing, and prohibitions on certain types of funeral services, such as viewings and wakes. In most cases, at best, up to 10 people could attend a graveside service outdoors.
The limitations on gatherings made it even harder for families to mourn together. Hicks shared, “I remember we took a mother directly to the cemetery. Her daughter stood there and said, “This is not fair”.”
On Saturday, March 21, 2020, Kansas City, Missouri, Mayor Quinton Lucas and county leaders for Jackson, Johnson and Wyandotte counties issued a sweeping stay-at-home order for the metro area that went into effect at 12:01 a.m. on Tuesday, March 21.
The lock down sent shock waves across nearly every aspect of daily life, including dealing with the dead.
With no viewings, very limited gatherings, and no final moments of connection, many families were left in emotional turmoil. “The limitations were really heavy on the families,” Hicks said. “They can’t even touch their loved one’s hand, hold them, or even give them a kiss goodbye.”
For funeral professionals, the pandemic brought unprecedented challenges. With so much uncertainty about the virus, Hicks and her staff took extra precautions while still trying to provide comfort.
Clad in personal protective equipment, they had to navigate their work with strict safety measures. Embalming was halted for over a year, further limiting their ability to offer traditional funeral services. “I’m the type of mortician—I love to hug all my families, and we couldn’t even do that,” Hicks said, reflecting on the emotional toll of the restrictions.
The absence of a farewell profoundly affected families. Some wrote letters or kept small keepsakes like a bookmark or blanket personalized with a loved ones’ photo, but nothing could replace the final moments they were denied. Even after restrictions were lifted, many families still struggled with unresolved grief. “Miss Gigi’s family (the family of Clara Mae Clardy) never got closure,” Hicks said. “They still carry that pain.”
The eventual lifting of restrictions marked a powerful turning point. Hicks recalled the joy of conducting the first full funeral service, “I was elated. I was completely elated because this is what I love to do,” Hicks said. “I want to make sure that the families and their loved ones are taken care of.”
This story was originally published March 19, 2025 at 5:00 AM.
