Could someone you know be thinking about suicide? Here are signs, risks, to watch for
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Website showed these Kansas Citians how to die by suicide
Two young Kansas Citians took their lives after spending time on a pro-suicide website. Their grieving families want the sites shut down, but there’s no law prohibiting them.
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These Kansas Citians died by suicide. A website showed them how, and it’s all legal
Here are resources that can help now if you or a loved one are at risk of suicide
Could someone you know be thinking about suicide? Here are signs, risks, to watch for
‘It’s OK to be not OK.’ How parents can talk to their kids about mental health
Know the warning signs for suicide and what to do next
Editor’s note: If you or someone you know is at risk of self-harm, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24-hour support at 800-273-8255.
Tim DeWeese cannot stress enough to parents: Listen to your children.
The same advice goes for anyone concerned that someone in their life might be at risk of suicide.
Listen.
“If a youngster says they’re depressed, I’ve way too often heard parents say, ‘Oh there’s no way they can be depressed. What do they have to worry about?’” said the director of Johnson County Mental Health.
“Well the bottom line is if they’re describing or saying they’re depressed, we need to take time to figure out what that means to them and for them.
“So we need to listen. We need to not be judgmental. And we need to empathize and validate what they’re experiencing.”
If parents can work on doing that, said DeWeese, they can take power away from websites where people talk about how to end their lives, where users are encouraged sometimes to keep their suicidal thoughts secret from their parents.
“Because then the parents can be the ones that kids go to,” said DeWeese. “And I think that’s important no matter what adult it is. So if it’s a coach, or if it’s a counselor or if it’s a teacher, the fact is that if there is one trusted adult in young people’s lives, then that’s going to save lives.
“Any adult figure that interacts with that youngster or that young person can be their lifeline. So we just need one, a trusted adult, in each kids’ life.”
There are known risk factors, or characteristics, that make it more likely that someone might consider or try suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline says they include:
▪ Mental disorders, particularly mood disorders, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, and certain personality disorders.
▪ Alcohol and other substance use disorders.
▪ Hopelessness.
▪ Impulsive and/or aggressive tendencies.
▪ History of trauma or abuse.
▪ Family history of suicide.
▪ Loss of a job or relationship.
▪ Easy access to lethal means.
Warning signs don’t always arise and aren’t always apparent, said DeWeese. If you suspect something might be wrong and they say they’re fine, ask an open-ended question, he said.
“So instead of asking if they’re OK, say, well, tell me about your day. Something that forces them to say something other than fine and OK,” he said. “And that can be hard. But it can be thoughtful. And ask questions that will create a discussion, not a one-word answer.”
If you suspect loved ones in your life might be thinking about suicide, talk to them immediately, the Mayo Clinic advises. And don’t be afraid to use the word “suicide.” Talking about suicide won’t plant ideas in their head, mental health officials say.
Here are warning signs from the Lifeline and the Mayo Clinic that someone might be suicidal:
▪ Changing normal routine, including eating or sleep patterns — sleeping too much or too little. “So if they start to isolate when they were really outgoing. If they start doing something that’s very different from what they were doing before, that can be a sign that something’s going on,” said DeWeese.
▪ Talking or writing about suicide — for example, making statements such as “I’m going to kill myself,” or “I won’t be a problem for you much longer.”
▪ Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
▪ Talking about being a burden to others.
▪ Increasing use of alcohol or drugs.
▪ Giving away belongings with no logical explanation.
▪ Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun.
▪ Doing reckless or self-destructive things.
▪ Developing personality changes or being severely anxious, agitated or angry while showing some of the warning signs above.
If you think someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or a suicide hotline number — such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK).