‘Auntie’? White man disrespects one of KC’s most revered Black women | Williams
When Black clergy in Kansas City called on men to stand up against anyone disrespecting Black women, I’m pretty sure they did not expect that one of them would find the need to do exactly that during a public forum just days after that callout was made.
But that is what happened on Saturday, during a panel discussion at the Kansas City Urban Summit’s 19th annual conference, titled “Power to the People: No Vote, No Hope.”
The disrespect appeared to be so egregious it was hard to believe it was happening in public, especially considering the event, steeped in the heart of Kansas City’s Black community, and the woman who was the target of this irreverence.
The Rev. Emmanuel Cleaver III, pastor at St. James United Methodist Church, put out a call on Mother’s Day for men to launch from Kansas City a national “No more disrespect” campaign, which would have men standing up across the country for women against public disrespect.
The Rev. Vernon P. Howard Jr., senior pastor of The St. Mark Church in Kansas City, stood up this past weekend. Howard, who is president of the Kansas City chapter of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, publicly scolded one of the candidates vying for the Jackson County executive seat.
This came after the candidate, Holmes Osborne, yelled at Gwen Grant, who is the outgoing chief executive officer and president of the Urban League of Greater Kansas City, and was moderating the panel and asking candidates questions.
Howard said he did it because “I have always been a proponent in defense of our Black women and insuring that Black women have the power that God ordained them to have.”
Until Osborne yelled at Grant during Saturday’s conference, I had not heard of him, and others attending the conference told me they didn’t know him either. I thought at the time that maybe his outburst might have been his way of getting noticed.
Here’s what happened
Osborne, who I have since learned is an independent financial adviser and a member of the Metropolitan Community College Board of Trustees, was part of a panel made up of five other candidates running for Jackson County executive, including Manny Abarca, the current chair of the County Legislature; Stacy Lake, a local attorney; Bill Baird, Lee Summit mayor; Ryan Meyer of Meyer Consulting Group, LLC; and Dan Tarwater III, a former county legislator.
The candidate panel, along with a panel of young voters, had been answering questions posed by Grant about issues of concern to young voters. The young people, in their 20s and 30s, expressed feeling frustrated by politicians who make campaign promises they don’t intend to keep, and who fail to earn the young vote but rather expect it.
The second-to-last question, which came from the young panel but was posed by Grant, asked candidates what they had done, or intended to do to engage with young Black voters throughout the county. Each panelist answered until it came to Osborne, who retorted that Grant had asked the wrong question.
I’ve moderated many of these types of panel discussions, and of course there is no wrong question. Whatever the moderator asks, those on the panel attempt to answer. That’s the point.
Osborne seemed to go a bit off topic and began talking about an artificial intelligence data center in Independence, and how young people there had pushed against it. He said the young Independence objectors forced the ouster of a couple of council members.
Grant stopped him, as moderators are known to do, and reminded him that he wasn’t answering the question. She had stopped other panelists earlier when they, too, had gone off topic. But Osborne raised his voice, shouting at Grant, demanding she let him continue talking.
In a statement sent to The Star on Monday, Osborne wrote: “I was answering a question I was asked — about how young people make a difference in politics.” But that was not the question.
He told me he was trying to say that “young people don’t need old people,” including himself, and was suggesting the young panel members follow the lead of young voters in Independence.
For me, it was when Osborne began shouting at Grant that the question and answer session went all wrong. He yelled, he said, because, “that’s who I am. I can be abrasive. I’m loud.” He forgot to mention rude.
That’s what led Rev. Howard to stand in the audience to reprimand Osborne. “You, sir, have been disrespectful,” Howard said, pointing a finger at him. “We will not let you come here and disrespect our Black women and certainly not this Black woman. … You, sir, are out of order.”
Grant later revealed to the audience that when she went to greet Osborne, to shake his hand and welcome him to the conference, he referred to her as “Auntie Gwen,” which he pronounced “anty.”
She was appalled and offended, and so were those in attendance. I was flabbergasted that anyone in a professional setting would refer to any Black woman they don’t know as “Auntie.”
Osborne told me he thought “Auntie” was a cultural term of endearment. Yes, it can be, if you’re a young Black person talking to or about an elder Black woman whom you have clearly already established great respect for.
Consider U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters, who on social media is often referred to as “Auntie Maxine” because of how she has stood up for social justice issues against Republicans’ and President Donald Trump’s policies.
Think Aunt Jemima
Osborne said he meant no disrespect to Grant. I don’t believe that. An older white man greeting a professional Black woman of influence he does not know as “Auntie” is in no way endearing. Who would think that? It’s insulting and demeaning, and a lot of professional Black women reject the term.
That has a lot to do with its history and because Black women had been referred to as “Auntie” by white people during slavery and Jim Crow to signal their age and to diminish them at a time when white folks wouldn’t refer to Black women as “Mrs.” or “ma’am,” but rather as “Antie.” Think Aunt Jemima.
“I didn’t know that was something I shouldn’t say,” Osborne told me. “I wish I hadn’t said that. I would have apologized if I had a chance.”
But he didn’t apologize. Osborne left the conference immediately when the panel concluded. Grant said he did not approach her. And as of Tuesday morning he had not reached out to apologize.
Instead of an apology, Osborne, sent me a statement — four pages — suggesting that Grant and the Urban Summit are financially tied to the AI data center and they didn’t want him talking about it. “This isn’t about race, it is about money,” Osborne wrote. I asked Grant about the alleged data center connection. There isn’t one, she said.
Even if there was, Osborne called Grant “Auntie” — when Gwen or Ms. Grant would do — before the panel ever started. That greeting, sir, was definitely about race. I asked him if he would greet a professional white woman, let’s say Gov. Laura Kelly, for example, by calling her “Auntie.”
Osborne said yes, he would. Surely you all don’t believe that. I don’t believe it, because nobody would. You, sir, owe Ms. Grant an apology.
Off The Vine
Below are stories about culture and identity from communities in the Kansas City metropolitan area. Go here to find more from Star reporter J.M. Banks.
- Fire damaged The Green Duck at 2548 Prospect Ave., and for many residents, the loss extends beyond a building. The historic tavern served as a gathering place, a political organizing hub and a symbol of Black community life for generations. Banks writes about its history.
- This Raw Art Creative Studio is opened to bring workshops, retail and community to Troost. Banks talks with the creator who has brought the concept to Kansas City.
Around The Vine
- Join Kansas City as it celebrates Black heritage at the city’s 15th Annual Juneteeth festival, expected to be the largest ever. The two-day event takes place June 19 noon-8 p.m. and June 20 noon-10 p.m. in the historic 18th & Vine Jazz District with food, music, vendors and more.
- Also, hold on to your guts laughing at the KC Black Comedian Crown, a comedy competition from 7:30-9 p.m. on June 19 at The Bird Comedy Theater, 103 W. 19th St., Kansas City. The show benefits The Walker Foundation, a nonprofit that provides free custom wigs, hair education and grooming services to children facing hair loss from medical conditions.
Vine Picks
- Life can be isolating for seniors, especially when English isn’t their first language. A Johnson County nonprofit aims to change that. Find out all about Fountain of Life in this story by Beth Lipoff, special to The Star.
- A hostel set up by a nonprofit to house visitors to Kansas City for the FIFA World Cup games will later be used to house some of the city’s homeless. Star reporter Chris Higgins explains the concept.
- The Kansas City Star can be your guide to everything World Cup as the games get underway in the city. Star reporter Rashad Alexander explains that visitors should be prepared to do a lot of walking.
- If you’re a fan of Indian cuisine, there’s a new one in town. This spot, in Kansas City’s Northland, specifically serves food from the Punjab region, like butter chicken. Reporter Jenna Thompson has all the details.
Your voice matters to us. What local issues do you want to hear discussed in On The Vine? Let me, Mará Rose Williams, The Star’s senior opinion columnist, know directly at mdwilliams@kcstar.com. Thank you for reading. Support our local journalists with a subscription.
