After COVID hits couple, KC widow with 5 kids offers Christmas caution: ‘Stay home’
The plan this Christmas, before COVID-19 struck and upended everything, was to be the same as always.
Late at night, as their five children slept, Crystal Marquez would do the wrapping. Joey, her one-time middle school boyfriend who years later became her husband, would set them out beneath the tree in their Kansas City home for Kirra, Khloe, Xavier, Xander and the baby, Ezra.
Joey Marquez was stout like Santa anyway, 39, a bouncer at Johnny’s Tavern in the Power & Light District. He could look formidable with tattoos on his arms and a black beard with no mustache. But those who knew him — Crystal first fell for his smile — felt his warmth.
“He loved, loved, loved his kids,” Crystal said Friday.
But in October, he got a cough. Crystal fell ill, too.
How or where they became infected with COVID-19, who gave it to whom, is unknown. Crystal manages a hair salon up north. She had just given birth to Ezra in May. He was born a bit early and had to spend time in the neonatal intensive care unit at Truman Medical Center. So the family has been scrupulous about masks and hygiene, both at work and home.
“We were being super-cautious,” Crystal said, both during her pregnancy, “and especially after having Ezra. We didn’t have people over, even our family.”
Now she is left widowed and raising children ages 12, almost 10, 7, 4 and a baby. If she has an overriding wish this Christmas, she said, it is for people to take COVID-19 seriously.
“I hear people on the news, ‘Oh, I’m going to travel to go visit my family for the holidays.’ Really? Are you going to do that? They should stay home. People are being careless.”
The virus’s deadly toll had already become personal when a friend, T.J., also in his 30s, fell sick. He was placed on a ventilator and died in the hospital. His funeral was held Tuesday, Oct. 6. The Marquezes must have contracted the virus in the days leading up to it.
That Friday, she was throwing up. She had diarrhea. Joey developed an odd, dry cough.
“I was thinking, flu, like I have a bad flu,” Crystal said. But it worsened. That Monday, she went to Truman’s emergency room with fever, chills, an aching head and body. They tested her for flu, strep and COVID-19 and sent her home.
“When the flu and strep came back negative, I knew,” Crystal said. COVID-19 was soon confirmed.
“Oh my God you’re going to die,” Crystal recalled her kids telling her. But she assured them she would be fine. “I’ll get over it,” she said. None of the kids showed symptoms.
Joey, meantime, still had his cough, and a mild fever. They assumed it was COVID-19 as well, but it hardly seemed serious. Another week passed. Crystal was far worse. “I couldn’t breathe,” she said. “It was so painful. Nothing would help.”
Truman admitted her and gave her plasma therapy. She FaceTimed with the kids and with Joey throughout the week as she slowly improved.
“I didn’t think when I went to the hospital that that would be the last time I saw him,” Crystal said.
Oct. 22, Joey was on the phone that morning. “I don’t feel good. I don’t feel good,” Crystal recalled her husband saying. “My chest hurts really bad.”
He said he would call his mother to drive him to the hospital. Crystal, far from thinking the worst, tried to lighten the moment.
“I told him, ‘I have a room with two beds. You’ll be up here with me. We’ll be fine. I love you.’”
They hung up. Soon the phone rang again. It was her daughter.
“The ambulance took Daddy,” she told her mother.
Not long after, nurses came to her room.
“We have your husband in the hospital, but his heart stopped,” she remembers them saying. Joey Marquez was large, powerful, 5-foot-7, but overweight. He had diabetes. Crystal was told that his heart had stopped soon after he was put in the ambulance. The medical team had tried for 45 minutes to revive him.
He was gone. The nurses wheeled Crystal downstairs to the emergency room where her husband lay.
“I got to see him to say goodbye,” she said. “A lot of people don’t get that.”
At home, her children waited with family. Crystal would tell them the news of their father’s death over FaceTime.
Joey’s remains would be cremated. He loved low-rider cars, so his brother-in-law, who runs a paint and body shop, fashioned a blue urn for him out of car metal. His memorial was a small and private affair held at the funeral home. But tragedy struck again when, on the way to the service, Rita Marquez, overcome with grief at her son’s death, died of a heart attack.
It was Oct. 28. She was 68.
Crystal, now home, says her family is getting by. “Day by day,” she said.
A GoFundMe site has been established for the family. As of Friday afternoon, $6,000 of a $10,000 goal had been raised.
About 40 patients are currently being treated for COVID-19 at Truman. The highest number had been 49. Charlie Shields, the hospital’s president and CEO, said they were anticipating a “post-Thanksgiving impact,” a rise in cases following holiday gatherings.
“We still have capacity,” meaning rooms to care for patients, he said, “but everybody’s concerned.”
Like Crystal, physician Mark Steele, the hospital’s executive chief clinical officer, advises staying home.
“Everyone needs to be careful, even if you are young and healthy and likely to do fine,” he said. “You may be infecting other people. And, you know, with the vaccines right around the corner, it’ll be an awful shame to have people get really sick if we could just hold out here and get through these winter months.”
Said Crystal, “Again, be safe. Don’t take it lightly. Don’t take things for granted. You never know what is going to happen.”
This story was originally published December 5, 2020 at 5:00 AM.
