So accomplished, so much self-doubt: Book club readers marvel at Nell Painter memoir

At the most recent gathering of the FYI Book Club, the attendees glanced at one another as each entered the video conference call and chuckled.

“We’re not in art school but we might be considered old,” said one reader. “We are visiting a museum though!”

Kansas City area readers gathered virtually on a variety of screens to discuss “Old in Art School: A Memoir of Starting Over” by Nell Painter. This discussion was hosted at the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art.

Before the discussion, Jade Powers, the museum’s assistant curator, gave a virtual tour of an exhibit of a fellow artist and friend of Painter’s, Dawoud Bey. Powers shared images from “Selections From Night Coming Tenderly, Black” and said this exhibit was started when Bey was in his 60s, creating a nice segue into discussion of Painter’s book.

Painter’s forthright memoir of returning to art school after a lengthy and honored career as a historian at Princeton University attracted readers of various ages. After retiring from a 30-year career in academia, Painter enrolled in art school and earned a bachelor’s in fine arts degree from Mason Gross School of the Arts at Rutgers University and a master’s from the Rhode Island School of Design.

Participants were impressed and fascinated with Painter’s determination and courage to go back to school in her 60s. But they also noticed other emotions in Painter’s memoir.

“I was so taken with Nell’s accomplishments in the fields of history and art,” Margaret Turner of Kansas City said. “But all through the book it was filled with Nell’s self-doubt. It could have been because she was a woman, older and African American, but she was so accomplished. Nell really had it going on! How could you be that accomplished and hold so much self-doubt?”

Readers appreciated Painter’s honest portrayal of enduring undergraduate school with students young enough to be her grandchildren.

“I was struck by Nell’s ability to be detached and examine herself in a scientific and remote way,” said Ruth Cain of Overland Park. “She combined these observations with a conversational tone in the book. Nell was so open in what she experienced in art school.”

Sharon Boranyak of Topeka was impressed with Painter’s energy. “I couldn’t believe how driven Nell was. She’s wrapping up the edits on her 800 page book and starting a new endeavor like art school,” she said.

Liz Lesan of Los Angeles pointed out a big difference in life experience between Nell and her fellow students. “At that age, Nell is dealing with so much else going on in her life, including her aging parents. If you’re 22 and in art school, you usually don’t have as much going on in life.”

Carol Fleming, Kansas City, noted Painter’s dedication to her new life. “Nell had so much passion for her art. That passion for wanting to paint is admirable. Age is just a number!”

Libby Hanssen, Overland Park, said, “Thinking about Nell returning to a degree as a retiree, it seems like such a hurdle. She put herself through the wringer, frankly, yet it was inspiring to see her take this leap. Nell didn’t have to go back to school. She could have made her own art in her own studio. But it was important to her as an academic to have the legitimacy that a degree awards. She definitely earned it.”

Readers saw both advantages and challenges in being an older art student.

“I think Nell had a huge advantage as an older student in college,” said Donna Haun of Boonville, Missouri. “Older students have more life experience. They know the professors are real people, not gods. They know how to pace themselves and when to push through.”

Katherine Snow, Kansas City, saw Painter’s disadvantage. “Nell points out how important networking is in art school. I picked up in the book that she was angry that an artist who was invited to classes never saw Nell’s work to review. The visiting artist critiques, the special attention, the independent studies, Nell didn’t know about much of that, and she thought it had to do with her age. The teachers were focused on the younger art students.”

Ann Friedman, Mission, saw something else. “When Nell was writing about (Rhode Island School of Design) and pushing against her professors and the accepted way of doing things, I think that’s part of graduate school. You find out who you are as an individual by differentiating yourself from your professors and questioning, do I want to go along with this or not? I thought Nell was fortunate to have friends outside of RISD to support her in forging her own artistic path.”

One reader felt that Painter’s experience in academia may have altered her expectations of art school.

Cain said, “Nell mentions several students she befriended, even though she may have felt a little ostracized by faculty and students. I appreciated that Nell didn’t leave anything uncovered; all of her experiences and observations are out there. It’s obvious that Nell is an excellent instructor, and I wonder if she felt her time was being wasted sometimes by others. I had a sense that Nell’s art teachers didn’t give her the same consideration she would have given her own students.”

The only art student in the discussion, Lynn Trott of Willismaburg, Virginia, shared an alternate view of art school.

“I’m 70 and an undergraduate art student at William and Mary right now,” Trott said. “I’ve had a much different experience from Nell. The students and teachers are very supportive. I don’t feel like an outsider, and I wanted everyone to know not all the younger kids are like this. They want to collaborate very much.”

Readers noticed a definite shift in the book’s tone after Painter graduated.

“I think Nell learned to be more comfortable with herself and what she’s doing with her art,” Cain said.

Friedman said, “Nell is very at home with herself as a Newark artist, not a New York artist or a RISD artist, a Newark artist.”

Cecelia Campbell, Kansas City, closed the discussion with this observation: “Nell doesn’t see herself through other people’s eyes any longer. Nell called it being centered. That’s a huge lesson to learn and practice in art and life. For anyone. Nell believes, ‘My eyes see my art and my eyes like my art, and that’s enough.’ That’s all it has to be.”

Kaite Stover is the Kansas City Public Library’s director of reader’s services.

Join the club

The Kansas City Star and the Kansas City Public Library present a book-of-the-moment selection every few weeks and invite the community to read along. On Feb. 7, look for an introduction to the next book, “She Come By It Natural: Dolly Parton and the Women Who Lived Her Songs” by Sarah Smarsh. To participate in a future book discussion led by the library’s Kaite Stover, email kaitestover@kclibrary.org.