Imagine losing the love of your life to auto racing. Now imagine it happening twice

It’s the elephant in the room of motorsports, the possibility that no driver can afford to think about as he climbs into the cockpit of a race car. It’s also a part of what makes auto racing so exhilarating to pursue and captivating to watch.

But when a driver actually dies on a race course, no matter the event or venue, shock waves reverberate throughout its reaches.

That was the case in June, when Jason Johnson, a 41-year-old husband, father, son and owner of his own racing team, was killed during a dirt-track race in Wisconsin.

Johnson was jockeying for the lead during a World of Outlaws race at the one-third mile track at Beaver Dam Raceway when his winged sprint car flipped over and careened through a set of billboards alongside the course. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital but was pronounced dead from massive head trauma. He is survived by his longtime wife, Bobbi, and their 5-year-old son, Jaxx.

Johnson’s death tore a gaping hole in his family’s life — Jason and Bobbi were to celebrate 18 years of marriage on Nov. 2 — but it also hit home among racers around the world. Some of the most accomplished drivers on America’s premier circuit, the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series, got their start in dirt-track competition. The elemental format in which small cars with big-muscle engines zoom in close quarters on a clay surface remains especially near to their hearts.

Retired NASCAR icon Dale Earnhardt Jr. epitomized that empathy in the hours after Jason’s death, tweeting, “When a racer loses his life, the world of motorsports across all disciplines takes notice and pays its respects. My heart goes out to Jason, his family, his friends, his competitors and his fans.”

Which brings us to Kansas City, Kan., and Friday night’s World of Outlaws race at Lakeside Speedway. A number of NASCAR drivers who will compete Saturday and Sunday on the big stage at Kansas Speedway will be in attendance for Friday’s FVP Platinum Battery Shootout at Lakeside. Monster Energy cup racers Kyle Larson and Ricky Stenhouse both own World of Outlaws teams, as does Tony Stewart. Kasey Kahne owns two.

Those luminaries and others in attendance Friday will see a special entrant at the starting line: Joey Saldana, a 46-year-old Indiana native and longtime driver on the sprint-car circuit, will pilot the Jason Johnson Racing team’s No. 41 car — a tribute made possible through what you might call a mission on the part of Johnson’s widow and parents, not to mention a support network of crew and friends ... people Bobbi Johnson calls her “dream team.”

The simple question here might be summed up in a single word: Why? Why press forward, continuing to give everything to a sport that has taken so much? World of Outlaws cars are inherently ornery machines. Series guidelines dictate that qualifying vehicles weigh no less than 1,400 pounds — half the weight of a Toyota Camry, but typically loaded with more than three times the horsepower.

Bobbi, who grew up around racing in Pennsylvania and whose duties on race day have generally included manning the team’s merchandise tent, sees no other way than to carry on.

“I keep thinking, ‘What else do I know?’” she said Wednesday as she browsed the aisles of a grocery store ahead of Friday’s race. “Jason and I used to joke about it. I’d tell him, ‘You know what you’ve been put here for. What am I here for?’ He’d say, ‘You’ll figure it out.’”

The couple had a major scare two years ago when Jason broke his back during a race in California. Remembering how they overcame that challenge together, how Jason recovered and raced again, Bobbi said she finds strength in this memory even now, with Jason gone. He used to say playfully that he figured his life would be over when he turned 30, but then 30 came and went, and so did 40, and Jason would instead talk of being content — he’d say he had already accomplished so much, with a loving family, a beautiful son and a sustainable career in racing.

Jason was happy on the World of Outlaws circuit, Bobbi said. And to hear her tell it, walking away now just wouldn’t be right. She’s doing her best to step in and handle business-side matters for the team, details that Jason had always attended to. This week, that meant meeting face to face with potential sponsors in Cleveland, another first for her.

“I feel like I need to do this,” she said. “Maybe my purpose in life is to pick up where Jason left off.

“I don’t want this dream team to go out on a low note. I want us to go out on a high note.”

Bobbi’s story would be incredible enough if we stopped here — if we could say that this was the first time she lost the love of her life to auto racing. But that is not the case.

In 1999, thirty-year-old Kevin Gobrecht, the man to whom Bobbi was engaged at the time, died in a sprint-car crash in Nebraska. Nearly 20 years apart, driving similarly souped-up race cars on similarly unforgiving dirt tracks, the two men Bobbi loved most — Kevin, and then Jason — died doing what they most loved.

This symmetry, unthinkably cruel on its face, illustrates auto racing’s simple cycle of life.

“Tomorrow is not promised,” Bobbi reckoned. “Live today for what you’ve got.”

So come Friday night, and for a few races beyond, Saldana will occupy the JJR team’s Rocky Mount, Mo.-based car to close out the World of Outlaws’ 2018 season. After Kansas City, he’ll drive the JJR car in the World of Outlaws World Finals, a three-night series at The Dirt Track at Charlotte, in Concord, N.C.

All of this is quite the means of honoring the memory of Johnson, who was chosen World of Outlaws series rookie of the year in 2015 after what had already been an accomplished career in the foundational levels of auto racing. It’s also a hauntingly beautiful illustration of what keeps men and women like Jason and Bobbi Johnson pushing forward in one of the most dangerous pursuits on the planet.

None of this is lost on Saldana, who knew Jason Johnson as a fierce competitor.

“To be able to jump into this high-caliber of a ride and be able to contend for World of Outlaws wins is pretty humbling,” Saldana said. “I didn’t have a ride for any of these races, so it’s a great opportunity.”

Saldana has made 10 World of Outlaws starts at Lakeside, posting six top-10 finishes. It’s not out of the question to think that he stands as good a chance of anyone of reaching victory lane and hoisting an extr trophy.

“It’s pretty neat to be able to say I drove a car like that and have a shot at winning a World of Outlaws race,” he said. “Jason Johnson built a great team over there, and it shows. Hopefully we can go out, put a good showing in and make them proud.”

The JJR team has raced a few times since Johnson’s death with another driver, Carson Macedo, behind the wheel. Winning a preliminary race at the Knoxville 360 Nationals in Iowa was a highlight. But Macedo couldn’t make it to this weekend’s event, opening the door for Saldana, whom JJR crew chief Philip Dietz has known for years.

With Saldana’s skills behind the wheel and knowledge of the Kansas City track, some favorable weather and perhaps a little luck, who knows what will happen Friday.

As far as Bobbi is concerned, though, her team, her dream team, is already victorious in simply carrying on Jason’s legacy.

“This is the right thing to do,” she said. “He was all right with whatever God had planned.”

Tickets for Friday’s race at Lakeside can be purchased in advance or at the venue.

This story was originally published October 18, 2018 at 12:19 PM.