World sees video of gun pressed to child’s head; now mother rallies against bullying

For more than two days, Emily Bridges did not know that her 13-year-old son had been forced to his knees with a black handgun leveled against his forehead, that he’d been taunted and punched.

The teenager tried to keep secret the terrifying act of bullying that was captured on cellphone video.

But his younger brother saw the original Snapchat video and ran to their mother Monday night. By Wednesday, more than 124,000 people saw the shocking video. Three youths surrendered to Independence police and the oldest — Alexander Schrader, 17 — is charged with armed robbery.

Bridges sees a stunned community rallying against bullying. Even the teen who was charged reached out to her in a message of apology.

But in that moment Monday night, when she first saw the video, Bridges’ heart burst.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” she implored.

All the anguish that bullying inflicts on communities was playing out before her.

She saw how bullying terrifies and humiliates. She saw how the afflicted children don’t want anyone to know. She felt the frustration shared by schools, police and families who can’t seem to do anything about it.

This time, she determined, it would be different.

Bridges went to police Monday night, but the action really started Tuesday morning when she posted the video on her Facebook page. The first responses helped identify the perpetrators. Messages of comfort and support also came.

The anger that had overwhelmed Bridges gave way to apologies, remorse and hope.

Two of Alexander Schrader’s aunts reached out to Bridges with messages of sorrow and sympathy. One of them, Jennifer Christine Schrader, told The Star her family was horrified by what they saw on the video.

She said they have tried to get Alexander help for his behavior and they want to see peace, with no more threats or anger in the community.

“I apologize to anyone who watched the video and was upset,” she wrote in a Facebook post. “What happened was NOT OK! It’s sad and embarrassing. My family is not that type of people and we do not condone that type of behavior.”

The aunt shared the same feelings directly with Bridges, saying her family wishes to help and make amends.

And Alexander, apparently soon before he turned himself in Tuesday, also sent an apology to Bridges in a Facebook message.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he said at the end of his message. “I didn’t mean it to go that far.”

Bridges said many people have been offering support. The conversations, including volumes of it on social media, also search for meaning and direction.

“People are asking, ‘How do we talk to our kids?’ ‘What do you tell your kids?’” Bridges said.

Specialists at Crittenton Children’s Center at St. Luke’s Hospital said public experiences like Tuesday’s disturbing video open the door for important conversations — moments of sharing that families should engage in often.

Parents should ask their children what they know, said Amanda Davis, director of intake services at Crittenton. They should find out what questions children have and ask if they’ve experienced bullying.

It’s a good time to ask children if they feel safe, if they’ve ever felt like hurting themselves or ending their life.

It’s important to listen intently, said Marcia Weseman, Crittenton’s director of community programs and prevention. Validate a child’s questions and emotions.

Good resources for families are available at www.stopbullying.gov, they said.

And as a culture, Weseman said, “we’ve got to quit telling young children not to tattle.”

“Shining a light on bullying is important because intervention cannot happen if no one knows,” she said.

Bridges is encouraged that both her 13-year-old and 11-year-old sons said they wanted to visit their school counselors in Independence Wednesday. She hopes that will help them.

She thinks police — at least once the video became widely shared Tuesday and was riling anger — are taking the case seriously. Prosecutors also seem to be taking swift action.

And while she fears how it will all weigh on her son, she believes in what she told him: “You were brave.”

Bridges still worries about how her son is doing in school, she said. But she is heartened that so many people in the community want him to know he is not alone.

She wants the youths in the custody of Independence police to also get the help they need.

“I just hope other kids see — even my own kids — that this stuff should be taken seriously all the time,” she said. “If it happens, do not be afraid to tell somebody.”

And maybe, she added, “instead of bullying, they’ll step up to be the next kid’s friend.”

This story was originally published October 24, 2018 at 7:13 PM.