Mom was right: Holding a grudge might help our nation battle ‘boomerang of stupidity’

I’m still reeling from the U.S. Capitol riot, or whatever you want to call it. But what is really still messing with my mind is I know that it will soon start fading away in people’s memories.

Maybe fading is the wrong choice of word. Perhaps a better way to say it would be that it will start getting shoved further and further back into our brains as an onslaught of more current events start taking precedence.

Closer to home, when political pundits talk about Missouri Senator Josh Hawley being one and done after his senate term is over in 2024 because of his actions, I’m thinking, maybe. The problem is that Americans, for longer than I care to admit, have been suffering from significant long-term memory issues when it comes to our elected officials. And I’m sure Hawley is counting on this.

This is why I’m currently pro grudge. I was raised by a master grudge holder. My mother could hold a grudge with more enthusiasm and longevity than anyone I have ever known. In fact, she thought the inability to hold a grudge was an act of laziness and a character flaw.

When I was a child, my mom, a Sunday school teacher, used her extensive list of grudges as a teachable moment. Sure, the Bible in Isaiah says, “When you forgive, learn to forget.” But my mom had her own take on that. She said that forgiving was fine but forgetting allowed history to repeat itself like a “boomerang of stupidity.”

She also thought “forgive and forget” was a folly perpetrated by – you guessed it – laziness. (To be fair my mother thought almost every sin was first and foremost brought on by indolence.) She used to tell her children that forgive and forget was the easy way out because it took no sustained effort. To hold a grudge required long-term discipline and dedication.

My mother had that in spades. As she aged, I would check her mental acuity by quizzing her about her legendary list of grudges. She was still razor sharp, remembering even what I would classify as the petty grudges.

For example, the woman who gave me, in my mother’s words, a “truly hideous $5 gewgaw platter from God knows where” as a wedding present when my mother gifted her daughter “a place setting of her china” was still on her list and all the details were as fresh as if they had happened yesterday, not 30-plus years ago. It was impressive.

To my mother’s credit, thanks to her Southern upbringing, she was a most gracious woman. This means her grudge holding was never on display. But if you were blood related you didn’t just know about it. You lived it.

As much as grudge holding is seen as a flaw, I’m inclined to start embracing it in certain circumstances. When I saw the Capitol being infiltrated I was, for the umpteenth time in the past four years, horrified as I thought, “Is this really happening in America?”

So, for all the politicians and people who not only allowed this to transpire but encouraged it, welcome to my grudge list. And I’ll do everything legally in my power as an American and an informed, rational voter to make sure you don’t get another chance to hitch a ride on the boomerang of the stupidity that is encircling our county.

I think my mother would approve.

Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs, on Twitter at @snarkynsuburbs on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.

This story was originally published January 19, 2021 at 5:00 AM with the headline "Mom was right: Holding a grudge might help our nation battle ‘boomerang of stupidity’."