Old man Potter
No, J.K. Rowling isn’t writing a new Harry Potter novel, and we won’t get another “Harry Potter” movie. But that doesn’t stop us all from dreaming, right?
On the Pottermore website this week, snarky gossip mongerer Rita Skeeter (aka Rowling) covers the celebs attending the Quidditch World Cup, namely Harry, who is about to turn 34, his family and old friends Ron and Hermione. People magazine, ABC News and others couldn’t resist fantasy-casting the film version (assuming we don’t want to wait a decade for Daniel Radcliffe to be old enough to play Harry again):
Harry Potter: “There are a couple of threads of silver on the famous Auror’s black hair,” Skeeter says. (For you Muggles, an Auror fights bad guys.) “But he continues to wear the distinctive round glasses that some might say are better suited to a style-deficient twelve-year-old.” Harry has his sons in tow (wife Ginny is busy covering the game) and sports a mysterious cut over his right cheekbone.
Who should play him? Christian Bale, says People. Yup, Batman himself should be able to handle those nasty scrapes. Other names coming up: Tobey Maguire, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and James McAvoy.
Hermione Granger: “After a meteoric rise to Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, she is now tipped to go even higher within the Ministry, and is also mother to son, Hugo, and daughter, Rose. Does Hermione Granger prove that a witch really can have it all? (No — look at her hair.)”
Who should play her? Kate Winslet. She’s never played dumb. Other possibilities: Scarlett Johansson, Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway.
Ron Weasley: His “famous ginger hair appears to be thinning slightly.” After two years with the Ministry of Magic he left to co-manage his brother’s successful joke emporium. “He shows no sign of mental illness from a distance,” Skeeter says.
Who should play Hermione’s hubby? Ewan McGregor, who, People says, “could bring the right notes of impish glee” and some gravitas. Other possibilities: Jude Law and Michael C. Hall.
Other updates from Rita Skeeter: Neville Longbottom is a popular Herbology teacher at Hogwarts, and ever-eccentric Luna Lovegood is married to Rolf Scamander, “swarthy grandson of celebrated Magizoologist Newt.”
Rowling is working on the screenplay for a movie about a young Newt Scamander, set decades earlier in this magical universe. Can’t wait.
Speaking of Christian Bale, he’s going all biblical on a bald Joel Edgerton in the new trailer for Ridley Scott’s “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” due this December. They play those famous adopted brothers who turned on each other — Moses and Ramses. Variety now reports that Scott wants to stick with the Old Testament a while longer and produce “David,” about the post-Goliath reign of the king of Israel.
| Sharon Hoffmann, firstname.lastname@example.org