NOTE: Hey, my friend Melissa Graham, the former Stargazing star, has agreed to watch and recap “Catching Kelce” for me.
In the first episode of “Catching Kelce,” we see Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce greet 50 women in a familiar setting: a football field. The E! reality show kicks off at the Los Angeles Coliseum, where Kelce greets the women with a monologue about his quest to find love.
Right off the bat, the girls are challenged to impress No. 87 for one minute before he cuts the contestants from 50 to 20. “This is cage match, bar rules,” Kelce said. “They can do whatever they want.”
Among the most awkward introductions:
▪ Chelsea from Virginia, who spends her entire 60 seconds hugging Kelce
▪ Anika from Minnesota, who waxes on about her cat named Kevin
▪ Lauren from Pennsylvania, who gets so nervous she crosses her eyes to break the ice
Katherine from South Carolina had the line of the night when she told the tight end that they both shared an affinity for an obscene hand gesture (you know, “the old roll the dice” Kelce got fined for in a 2014 game against the Broncos).
“Good thing it went to a charitable organization,” Kelce said.
The reference didn’t pan out for South Carolina though — she got booted in the first round of cuts.
Kara from Kansas told Travis she hoped for “a home-field advantage,” while Lauren from Missouri called herself the “biggest Chiefs fan” and left Kelce with this line: “You’re my dad’s favorite player.”
Both made it past the first round of eliminations.
After the remaining girls move into a Los Angeles mansion, Kelce invites them to a rooftop party at the Roosevelt Hotel to celebrate his contract extension with the Chiefs and mingle with some of his NFL colleagues, including his brother Jason, a center for the Philadelphia Eagles.
At the party, Anika from Minnesota is singled out as a “pest” during the party, and later butts heads with several of the girls in the house.
“Minnesota just keeps popping up in every conversation that I have,” Kelce said. “It’s like I’m at Dave and Buster’s and it’s like a whack-a-mole.”
Avery from Colorado had the opposite impression on Kelce (although he did call her by the wrong name at first). Not only is she charming, but Avery is also the daughter of former NFL guard Mark Schlereth.
“Avery fits the mold,” Kelce said. “She understands my lifestyle already.”
The next day, he gives the girls a “2-minute warning,” in which he invites eight contestants to his home and proceeds to eliminate five.
Among the castaways: London from Tennessee, Selma from Connecticut, Crystal from Florida, Jordan from Arizona and last but not least, Kara from Kansas.
“It’s going to be hard to root for the Chiefs the same,” Kara said after being eliminated.
Oh, by the way, Kara’s brother is Tanner Tolbert, who got married on “The Bachelor” last year.
Next week: Kelce throws a poolside barbecue at the girls’ mansion, then goes on his first group and one-on-one dates. Expect more loud outfits from Kelce, more drama in the house and a workout routine that would make Richard Simmons proud.
To reach Melissa Graham, send email to firstname.lastname@example.org