Clyde Edwards-Helaire details shooting & how Andy Reid helped him deal with PTSD
Running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire discussed his experience with post-traumatic stress disorder while at Chiefs training camp this past summer. The PTSD arose after an incident that occurred while he was attending LSU.
On The Pivot podcast last week, Edwards-Helaire for the first time shared what happened that day in 2018 when an 18-year-old male was shot and killed.
Edwards-Helaire said he pulled the trigger that day to save his friend’s life.
Jared Small, who was Edwards-Helaire’s teammate at LSU, was selling a PlayStation system when an 18-year-old man attempted an armed robbery. Edwards-Helaire said that morning he had a bad feeling about Small’s sale and joined him for the trip where the exchange was to have taken place.
Edwards-Helaire’s stepfather was a police officer and taught him how to handle a gun. He had a weapon with him that day and said he needed it when the 18-year-old pulled out a firearm.
“The next thing I see is a gun toward Jared’s head,” Edwards-Helaire said on the podcast. “My only reaction was either I’m about to watch my best friend lose his life or do something about it.”
Edwards-Helaire added that he wished the incident had never taken place, even though prosecutors said he was justified in his actions, per the Associated Press. Police in Louisiana never identified Edwards-Helaire as the shooter, and he had never spoken about it until last week.
The podcast hosts then asked Edwards-Helaire about firing his weapon.
“The very first thing was, I don’t want my best friend dying,” Edwards-Helaire said. “Second is, if that happens to him, what’s stopping the gun coming towards me after the fact? And it being two of us gone for no reason. And that’s something I’ve never been able to get over. It’s a horrible feeling. I hope nobody ever has to ever go through the situation I’ve been through. Even Jared. I think about that all the time. ...
“I can’t imagine having a gun towards my head and not only that, just thinking about the fact of — if I didn’t go with him or how bad I would have felt not following my intuition initially.”
Effects of PTSD
The shooting took place on Dec. 22, 2018, and the following year Edwards-Helaire helped LSU win the national championship. A few months later, he was drafted by the Chiefs.
To the outside world, it seemed like everything was fine with Edwards-Helaire — heck, even good. But he said the memory of the shooting resulted in the post-traumatic stress disorder that wreaked havoc on his life.
The only time he felt like himself was when he put on a helmet and played football.
Ahead of the 2020 NFL Draft, Edwards-Helaire said each interview with an NFL team focused on the shooting ... with the exception of the Chiefs.
“I sat down and (Eric Bieniemy) was like, ‘Look, we know about the story. We good.’ And then coach (Andy) Reid just kind of sat back in his chair and was like, ‘What story are we talking about?’ He didn’t know at all,” Edwards-Helaire said. “I literally looked at him in his eye the whole time, not even looking at anybody else in that room. And I remember telling him that, and he gave me one of the biggest hugs that I’ve had in a while.”
After joining the Chiefs, Edwards-Helaire did his best to deal with the PTSD that resulted in bouts of intense vomiting that kept him from the team for periods of time.
Edwards-Helaire believes Reid was told that the running back was dealing with stomach issues whenever the trauma would return.
Then came this summer’s training camp in St. Joseph, Missouri, and things turned.
“I was rolling the first few weeks, just doing everything I needed to do,” said Edwards-Helaire, who is listed at 207 pounds. “That last week, I had a bad episode. I was in my room and just couldn’t stop throwing up. They ended up taking me to whatever the nearest hospital was.
“I was in there for like four or five days. I got down to like 180 pounds, small, couldn’t eat. To me, same old thing, same old routine. They’re gonna do whatever they gonna do (to help), and then at some point I’m gonna get up out of here and be able to go back (to the Chiefs).”
Andy Reid’s big decision
Edwards-Helaire said he was going to meetings virtually while in the hospital and it was then that Reid realized the severity of what was happening.
“He just was like, ‘I didn’t know it was that bad every time that they were telling me you were sick. I’m just thinking you’re probably at the crib, tucked in bed, do whatever, and you’re just sick,’” Edwards-Helaire said. “He didn’t think it was to the extent of ‘Clyde has to get pretty much hospitalized and revived every time he has one of these episodes, and he comes back in the building, smiling, cracking jokes and all these other things like nothing ever happened.’”
The Chiefs placed Edwards-Helaire on the reserve/non-football illness list at the start of the season, so he could get the help he needed.
Reid pushed for Edwards-Helaire to step away from football so that it could help him as a player and, more importantly, a person.
Edwards-Helaire said Reid told him: “’You’re 25 years old, you’re gonna have to live the rest of your life with this, so why not get the help that you need now, get all the questions answered so you can be able to enjoy your life, not only for the rest of your NFL career, but life after? What’s the point of us playing this game and being on this platform if we can’t do the things that’s necessary, like to help people who need help.’
“And that’s when I just took a step back and really appreciated Coach Reid as the man and the father and just stature of a person that he is. NFL was a hard thing because, like I was telling him, the only time I felt myself was when I’m playing. So you’re about to put me in a situation to where I can’t feel like myself. But you need to learn how to be able to cope with it and be yourself away from this.”
Leaning on Travis Kelce
Edwards-Helaire is grateful that the Chiefs drafted him, and he talked about his bond with star tight end Travis Kelce, who called him GBC — Good Brother Clyde
“The amount of time that I was spending with Travis was unreal,” Edwards-Helaire said. “I really look at him as a big brother and I needed somebody to lean on.
“My first year in the league was the COVID year, which literally kept us isolated from each other. But the only person that’ll do those things and reach out and make sure I’m good, text me on random days, was Travis.
“Like, ‘Bro, you good?’ He was the only one. He noticed when I’m jacked up in the mornings at meetings.”
That time away from the Chiefs at the start of this season has made a positive impact on Edwards-Helaire.
“I’m doing a lot better than I have been these past four years,” Edwards-Helaire said. “Mentally, physically, everything is just on the up and up. I’d say I’m probably the healthiest I’ve been since I came into the league.”
You can hear the full podcast episode online.
