Why do we hate the Chargers? They’re boring

The Chargers might be 5-1 right now, but historically they've been neither good (like the Broncos) nor bad (like the Raiders). They are, quite simply, the very embodiment of lukewarm.

Consider their all-time record: 413-402-11. That means they've won exactly as many games since their inception in 1960 as they've NOT won.

People, it's hard to be that mediocre. And bless the Bolts, they've managed to do it.

Onward to our five reasons to dislike the Chargers, shall we?

1. Phillip Rivers

What a whiner this guy is. And he wears bolo ties. And he always seems to gag in the big moment. Remember his mishandled snap at the goal line at Arrowhead in 2011? Ha ha ha!

2. Dan Fouts

Our beef with Fouts isn't so much what he did on the field. As the Chargers' QB from 1973 to 1987, his offense under passing guru Don "Air" Coryell actually wowed us. It's what has come since. Fouts has to be the whiniest broadcaster in pro football, not to mention a major homer.

3. June Gloom

Not football-related, but the seasonal marine layer that envelopes the coast as summer arrives is like 24 hours of night during an Alaskan winter. Rest of the year sure is nice, though. (Yeah, we're a tad jealous.)

4. Weddle's Beard

For a few years, it was this San Diego safety's stingy defense that made us wince. Then Eric Weddle started growing that Persian kitty from his chin. Yes, it has its own Twitter account (@weddlesbeard). No, it's not sanitary.

5. Phil Mickelson

Lefty's been on our poop list ever since he ripped our guy Tom Watson for how he captained the Ryder Cup team. And he's from San Diego. Stick it, Lefty.

This story was originally published October 17, 2014 at 12:06 AM with the headline "Why do we hate the Chargers? They’re boring."