Mill Valley High’s volleyball coach is retiring after 39 seasons of coaching KC’s girls

Occasionally, when Mill Valley High volleyball coach Debbie Fay saw senior Taylor Roberts in the hallway around the school, she’d deliver a short, inspirational message.

“You are a difference-maker, Taylor,” she’d say. “You go do it.”

Fay had similar words of inspiration one morning in early November, when Roberts and fellow senior Brylee Peterson sat in the Mill Valley gymnasium and talked about Fay’s retirement from coaching volleyball across the Kansas City metro. Fay spent her last eight seasons at Mill Valley, 16 years at Park Hill South and 15 before that at Park Hill.

During her long coaching career, Fay won three state titles at Park Hill, made numerous state tournament appearances, compiled an overall record of 954-334-48 and in November 2020 was inducted into the Missouri Sports Hall of Fame.

The numbers and honors are nice, but judging from the comments from her most recent players — and one of many from the past — Fay’s true legacy is that she made a difference in many young lives.

“She just pushes me, and I know she wants the best for me and will always be on my side,” said Peterson, who will continue her volleyball career at the University of Texas at Tyler next season.

Chrissy Elder, now the volleyball coach at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs, played played for Fay’s 1997 state championship team at Park Hill and followed Fay to Park Hill South the following year.

“She was just the right amount of tough and caring,” Elder said. “She made players want to work hard for her and excel in everything we did.

“A lot of times you have some mentors that you do things differently because they didn’t leave an impression on you the right way. She is one that I have tried to emulate, simply because she left such an amazing impression on me.”

Fay will miss the relationships she’s had with her players — relationships that sometimes extend beyond their days together on the court.

No question, Fay knows she will always remember her final team. Eight seniors formed the nucleus of Mill Valley’s volleyball team in 2021. From day one, they were determined to make the Kansas Class 5A state tournament. The Jaguars finished first in the Sunflower League and saw four 6A teams from the league — comprised of both 5A and 6A programs — reach the 6A state tourney.

Mill Valley didn’t have that storybook ending. The Jaguars lost to perennial 5A power St. James in a close three-set match in the sub-state championship game.

“That’s hard try to explain to the girls,” Fay said, “that sometimes things just happen that way and you have to deal with the cards you are dealt. I do think that we battled in every single one of the games we played.”

Once the season was over, with Mill Valley finishing 31-9, Fay told her team she was retiring from coaching. Both Peterson and Taylor were surprised because of the energy and enthusiasm Fey had still shown during the season.

“She always sees the bright side of things,” Roberts said. “She is always striving for us to be better. She has high expectations for us. The expectation for us this season was for us to be good. She wants the best for everyone.”

At 60, the competitive fire still burns in Fay. She plays tennis and will continue to teach at Mill Valley.

“My passion for the game and the excitement of the challenge to do the best I can for the kids, I love that part,” she said. “My body is tired. The role and all the jobs put on a head coach have grown over the years. The expectations and pressure have grown over the years.

“And I have grown older over the years. The long days, I can tell, are taking a toll me.”

Fay understood that not every player who came through her program would go on to play in college or become a coach. She wanted them to leave with good memories and life skills that could help them after high school, no matter where their future took them.

“The experiences they get here are supposed to be great memories, but still be committed to a team and a program,” Fay said. “I try to instill in them a work ethic, because life is hard and it is getting harder.

“If you can’t function in an uncomfortable situation, you might struggle as you get older. If I can have these kids feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, whether it is life or on the court, that is a positive I have given them.”

Don’t be surprised if you see Fay on the sidelines again two or three years down the road. She has never been an assistant coach and could give that a try, at some point.

“I would like to be an assistant just once in my life because they have the fun job,” she said. “The head coach gets the pressure.”

Fay couldn’t help but break into a big smile as she said those words. Her career record says she handled the pressure just fine.

This story was originally published November 12, 2021 at 1:22 PM.