Curtsy ready? Here’s royal etiquette for Dutch king, queen World Cup visit to KC
AI-generated summary reviewed by our newsroom.
- Kansas City will host King Willem-Alexander and Queen Máxima on Saturday.
- Curaçao will play Ecuador Saturday at Kansas City's Arrowhead Stadium.
- Courtney Fadler said she would return to Kansas City "in a flash" if summoned.
Kansas City etiquette expert Courtney Fadler is out of town this weekend. But if by some serendipitous stroke of luck she would get a call commanding her return to Kansas City to meet a king and queen, she’d be back in a flash.
Kansas City will host royal guests when Netherlands King Willem-Alexander and Queen Máxima arrive Saturday to watch the Dutch territory of Curaçao play a World Cup match against Ecuador at Kansas City (Arrowhead) Stadium.
It will be a busy day of travel for the royals, who will reportedly cheer for the Netherlands in its match against Sweden at noon Saturday in Houston, then fly to Kansas City for the 7 p.m. match.
If anyone in Kansas City knows how to comport themselves in the presence of royalty, it’s Fadler, trained by the famous Emily Post Institute in Vermont. Post set the gold standard for manners and social behavior for generations of Americans, social graces still valued and taught today.
Though most people here will likely meet the royal couple in an environment more casual than an elaborate palace state dinner, the rules of royal etiquette still apply, said Fadler, founder of CF Etiquette who has taught etiquette classes to adults and children for more than a decade.
Respect is the guiding principle.
“Just because they are public figures does not mean that they belong to the public,” she said.
“So we want to respect the fact that they’re there to enjoy their team and that them walking around (the stadium) does not necessarily mean that we have a right to run up to them or take a picture of them without asking.
“So we want to, first and foremost, really just be considerate and respectful of them … treat them like you would treat another person that you’ve never met before.
“But if you are fortunate enough to get to meet them at Arrowhead … it’s best to follow the lead of the royals.”
The Dutch royals seem “a little bit less formal maybe than if you were to meet, let’s say, King Charles (of England),” she said. “So it wouldn’t be unknown for them, maybe, to extend their hand to shake a hand.
“And if that’s what they do, then feel free to shake their hand.”
Fadler, though, would prefer to greet them formally. “That’s a smile and a quick curtsy if you’re a woman or a quick bow if you’re a man,” she said.
“Being in America, I imagine they’ll be very gracious about it and know that’s probably a little bit out of the ordinary for us. But that’s what I would certainly do.”
And how to execute the perfect curtsy?
“Basically you are literally just putting your right foot behind your left,” she said. “You just kind of put the foot behind, you do a quick little dip, and then you come back up. It’s nothing grand.
“It’s not this big, sweeping bow ... it’s so much more subtle and elegant.”
No need to curtsy if they just happen to walk past you at the stadium. “It’s really only if you are introduced to them or meeting them,” Fadler said “But if they’re sweeping past you in a hallway at Arrowhead, that is when it’s completely polite and appropriate and fine to smile and wave.”
Just. Don’t. Shout. At. Them.
They’re not Taylor Swift.
“Shouting is usually not a very courteous thing to do,” Fadler said. “It’s OK to smile and wave at them, or maybe even clap if you want to show them that they’re welcome. You can say ‘welcome.’
“But yelling things like, ‘can I have a picture?’ You don’t want to do things like that. You really want to respect that they’re there to enjoy the game.”
Fadler also gently advised using discretion when photographing the royals from afar.
“You know, you just really need to think about those principles of etiquette … ‘is what I’m doing considerate and is what I’m doing respectful?’” said Fadler, who worked in broadcast journalism before making etiquette her career.
“And yes, they are the royals. And yes, I know many people are going to probably snap photos anyway from afar and the royals may never see them. But in the end, we’re taking pictures of somebody without asking them … that’s the basic truth.
“If you do happen to get a photo, be careful about how you’re using it. Is it something where you’re just showing it to a friend to say, yeah, here they are. Or are you posting it on something and adding things to it?
“Again, these are still real people. So we just want to be really considerate of that.”
How to address a royal
If you’re lucky enough to meet them in person, the proper way to address both of them is, “your majesty.”
That’s for the first time you address them. If the conversation continues, it’s “sir” or “ma’am.”
“I might say, ‘it’s so nice to meet you, your majesty,’ and then I would say, ‘ma’am, I hope you’re enjoying Kansas City,’” Fadler said.
The king and queen might or might not have their three adult daughters with them. Princesses Amalia, Alexia and Ariane are known soccer fans, too.
Princesses are addressed as “your royal highness,” said Fadler.
After that, they are “ma’am.”
The late Queen Elizabeth of England was known to be a stickler for royal protocol, including the “no-touching rule.”
No kisses on the check. No hugs. People didn’t dare touch her back or shoulders.
But “with these more modern royals, certainly Kate and William (of England) … they seem to be offering handshakes and hugs far more often than maybe we’ve ever seen before,” said Fadler.
“So the rule, once again, is if they initiate it, absolutely. But you don’t initiate it. I would never assume to shake their hand. But if they extended their hand, I would most certainly take it and feel very privileged.”
Fadler said watching coverage of how much international soccer fans are enjoying themselves in the United States makes her happy to see her fellow Americans on their best behavior.
“It just makes me swell with pride, that people are coming to our country for the World Cup and then finding such joy and excitement and fun and camaraderie in traveling from city to city. And we’re talking cities that they’ve certainly never heard of and they’re saying, ‘Oh my gosh, look at how great this is,’” she said.
“That is exactly how I would hope all of us in Kansas City would feel about these footballers and about a royal family coming to town, coming to our sweet Kansas City.
“I hope they can feel it ... we’re on a world stage now. So let’s lean into that world stage and let’s be the welcoming city that we are.”
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