Complaining about cursing at KC Plaza ICE protest ignores deadly reality | Opinion

A Kansas City Star columnist recently scolded the Kansas City community for using the F-word at a Jan. 10 vigil and march for Renee Good on the Country Club Plaza. In fact, he found the “F*** ICE!” chants so distasteful that he left.

That choice was a privilege.

When Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents kidnap people from the streets because of their skin color — and their white allies are killed in broad daylight — obsessing over decorum is a luxury. You can worry about politeness only if you’re insulated from the real terror. And for those paying attention right now, our country is terrifying.

If history has taught us anything, it’s that regimes have never toppled because people whispered “please.”

To be fair, as one of the event’s primary organizers, I heard from a handful of others who also found the F-word obscene. I heard them out but respectfully disagreed. For me, what’s obscene is asking grieving people to sanitize their pain so it’s more comfortable for observers.

Using emotional language, including the F-word, isn’t a messaging error. It’s a moral alarm. When someone chooses to fixate on a swear word instead of why people are swearing, they’re choosing comfort over conscience.

That choice is a privilege.

It’s the privilege of not being targeted. Of being able to retreat to your comfortable life. Of believing the system will ultimately work for you. It’s the privilege of thinking we’re still debating tone.

News flash: We are not.

I can understand why those new to the fight to preserve democracy might have been offended. But for those who have seen our Kansas City immigrant neighbors shackled, pulled from restaurants and hauled from their cars, the F-word is the least of our worries.

We’re living in a moment of accelerating harm. When cruelty is normalized, anger isn’t a failure of civility. It’s a rational response.

The complaint also misunderstands the purpose of a vigil or a march. These aren’t performances to make people feel like they’ve “done something.” They’re acts of public witness and collective grief. They exist to name reality and break through indifference.

If strong language on a sign or through a bullhorn makes you uncomfortable, good. Discomfort is often the first crack in complacency.

When someone is more upset about a four-letter word than about why people felt compelled to say it, they’re missing the point.

The F-word didn’t dishonor Renee Good. But indifference does.

Nancy Mays is co-founder of Boots on the Ground Midwest, a nonpartisan organization committed to preserving democracy. She worked in public relations and communications in Kansas City for more than 30 years. She lives in Johnson County.