Americans should have the right to be stupid. Fireworks bans are unpatriotic | Opinion
In the wake of July Fourth, I always look forward to the reports of fireworks injuries. Not so much for the window it offers into the general irresponsibility of so many Americans (it is not a good idea to combine your roman candles, firecrackers and sparklers into a Frankenstein pyrotechnic), but for its usefulness as a barometer of America’s health.
In many states, fireworks have been severely restricted, sucking all the fun and freedom out of America’s birthday. That’s not the case across much of the Midwest including Kansas and Missouri, where Black Cats, Patriot Salutes and bottle rockets run riot over the amber waves of grain not far from the sprawliest suburbs. It is Democratic strongholds, mostly far away, like California, Massachusetts and, disappointingly, Illinois where the frivolity-hating nanny state holds sway.
More locally, your betters in Kansas City hate any patriotic displays of aluminum powder and potassium perchlorate, worried as they are over a night of noise and concerned that their residents retain both eyes and all 20 digits. And as we all know, nothing says liberty quite so well as a tube of smoky carbon rising from the ground.
Anyway, my point is that freedom matters only if you are allowed to do things that those with more sense think are a bad idea.
You don’t need freedom of speech to compliment Aunt Fanny on her skill at crocheting. The First Amendment protects your right to be angry, hateful and cause trouble at City Council meetings.
You don’t need the right to bear arms to keep a fancy butter knife collection. The Second Amendment protects your right to have a loaded weapon of war next to your shoe rack in the bedroom closet.
You don’t need the Third Amendment to keep your 21-year-old kid from coming home and living in your basement. You need it to keep the king from quartering redcoats in your living room. (Well, maybe that’s not so relevant anymore.)
You don’t need the right to be free of unreasonable search and seizure to keep a pile of boxes filled with forgotten slides of your boring vacations. You need the Fourth Amendment to keep the chief of police from breaking into a newspaper’s offices to destroy records of an investigation into his past sexist comments.
You don’t need the right to remain silent to be quiet about Grandma’s old lady smell. The Fifth Amendment lets us all keep secrets about our conspiracy to have crazy Uncle Joe and that psychotic New Yorker named Donald involuntarily locked into an old folks home until the election is over.
Real freedom begins when you are being annoying, unpopular or stupid. And that’s why I want Donald Trump to make undoing the 1966 Consumer Product Safety Commission ban on cherry bombs and M-80s part of his pledge to Make America Great Again.
If there is anyone who knows about the value in freedom to be annoying and stupid, it is Donald Trump.
David Mastio, a former editor and columnist for USA Today, is a regional editor for The Center Square and a regular Star Opinion correspondent. Follow him on X: @DavidMastio or email him at dmastio1@yahoo.com