I escaped rural Kansas discrimination, but anti-LGBT laws across US keep hate alive

In 2015, the LGBTQIA+ community was forever changed with the Supreme Court ruling that gay marriage is in fact legal. With a bright future for gay rights and equality, it seemed we had finally turned a corner for queer people. So how is it that in 2022, we are facing all-new transphobic and homophobic bills in states such as Florida and Texas? Being queer in America is actually not all sunshine and rainbows just because gay marriage is legal. We as a society must fight anti-LGBT hate at the local level to address national inequalities.

Growing up in very rural Kansas, I faced homophobia not only from people my age, but even from my classmates’ families. One friend’s parents would talk about my sexual orientation when I was in the fifth grade, before I even knew who I was. That made me feel ashamed for being different. I was bullied and made fun of because of my interests and who I may possibly be attracted to. At that age, I wish I’d had someone to talk to openly about my feelings and who I was.

Anti-queer legislation is being proposed and passed all over our country. In Florida, it was a bill that prohibits teachers from even bringing up sexual orientation and gender identity at lower grade levels. And in Texas, Gov. Greg Abbott ordered health care professionals and even members of the public to report the parents of transgender minors they suspect are receiving gender-affirming treatments. Thankfully, a judge has temporarily blocked Abbott.

So why have we gone backward on this issue? Prohibiting the open discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity is the first step in trying erase the queer community’s existence. If I have to grow up in a heteronormative world and consume straight storylines, then straight people shouldn’t be afraid to be exposed to queer relationships. If the discussion is really about sexuality and age appropriateness, then are we going to block heterosexual narratives from the classroom, too? Children should be able to openly discuss their feelings about themselves and their identities without having to worry about being outed to their parents by their school.

Queer people are among the least protected minority groups in this country. In many places, LGBT Americans can still be discriminated against solely for their sexual orientation or gender identity. This ranges from employment, housing and education to public accommodation. In 27 states, including Kansas and Missouri, there are still no laws preventing discrimination against queer people. Two states have partial laws against discrimination, and 21 states have full protection of LGBTQIA+ rights.

So why have we not done more? It’s mind-boggling and extremely disturbing knowing that in some places, I might not be able to get an apartment or patronize a restaurant based on my sexual orientation or gender identity. Homophobia and transphobia are still a cancer in our country, and the recent attacks on the queer community at the government level are disgusting. We shouldn’t have to worry about this in 2022.

The only way to fight back is to start having open discussions with our friends, family, colleagues and children. We also must stop these bigoted pieces of legislation at every level. Hate spreads, and the more places that get away with these laws, more and more jurisdictions will do the same. We must also hold the mainstream media accountable for not doing more on covering this issue. The way queer people are talked about in media affects us all individually.

And to the politicians and bigots putting queer people in these situations, I suggest you take in a dose of reality: You can’t “pray the gay away,” and it’s not “just a phase.” We can’t change who we are any more than a straight person could “become” LGBT.

Banning honest discussion isn’t going to result in the disappearance of queer people. We are a lot stronger than that.