I lost my nephew on a 9/11 plane. But here’s my hope for a future without extremism

Twenty years ago on Sept. 11, I was sitting at my editorial page desk on the second floor of The Kansas City Star building at 1729 Grand Boulevard, receiving the first news reports about the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

That building no longer houses the newspaper. That job no longer is mine because I semi-retired five years later to do other writing. And my nephew, Karleton Fyfe, no longer exists, either. He was murdered that dreadful day as a passenger on the first plane to smash into the World Trade Center.

The nearly 3,000 9/11 families could spend this 20th anniversary just mourning our losses and our many disorienting changes. Grief, after all, is long, necessary work. But I hope many of us also will think about helping to create a world in which it will be much harder for extremist ideas to thrive.

Call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.

The newly published book I wrote about our family’s bitter 9/11 experience, “Love, Loss and Endurance,” explores the question of how people get drawn into fanaticism — whether it’s based on politics, religion, race or something else — and suggests ways to unplug extremism.

Each of these ideas for action assumes that before we can adopt them, we must be capable of critical thinking so we don’t fall victim to mis- and disinformation or to conspiracy theories rooted in empty air.

The people who pulled off 9/11, who engineered the Holocaust, who blew up the federal building in Oklahoma City, who murdered nine Black people praying in a South Carolina church, who decapitated captured pilots in the Middle East, who fatally shot three people at Jewish institutions in suburban Kansas City in 2014, who stormed the U.S. Capitol last Jan. 6 to overthrow the government — all these people and similar terrorists either never developed critical thinking capabilities or simply didn’t use them.

As a person of faith, I tend to look at such matters through the lens of eternal lessons about the inestimable value of every human being. Which means I must recognize that each person bears the image of God. If I attack people, I attack that divine image.

But beyond that foundational anti-terrorism idea, here are some useful approaches to stand against violent extremism:

▪ Become more religiously literate. We fear what we don’t know or understand. After 9/11, many people, in my hearing, blamed and condemned Islam. Had they been more educated about that ancient and honorable faith tradition, they would have understood that the hijackers whom Osama bin Laden sent to deliver chaotic devastation on the U.S. were violating Islam’s most central tenets.

▪ Engage in interfaith dialogue and cooperation. Don’t stop with just learning about other faith traditions from books — though the first book to read is “Religious Literacy: What Every American Needs to Know and Doesn’t,” by Stephen Prothero. Go beyond that to engage with people from a variety of religions (and none) in community service projects, such as the Jewish-Christian-Islamic effort to build houses for Habitat for Humanity in Kansas City. This kind of work will teach you what followers of other traditions value, and can deepen your commitment to your own tradition.

▪ Grow your knowledge of both American and world history. The idea expressed by some people in Iraq or Iran, for instance, that the U.S. is a “Great Satan” didn’t come from nowhere. The U.S. has accomplished some amazing and redemptive things in our relations with other nations, but also has made some grievous errors. Patriotism sometimes means being critical of our own nation. A deeper knowledge of history can give you a better perspective on how others see the U.S., even if you disagree with their assessment.

The U.S. was gravely wounded 20 years ago. Families were crushed, the nation outraged. Two decades on, we must remember those who died and express our grief again. But we also must be part of the work to make sure others don’t buy into destructive ideas and then act on them violently — whether in the name of God or for some other cause rooted in false certitude.

As I continue to miss the amazing Karleton, I also will work to prevent others from suffering what my own family did on 9/11. Please join me.

Bill Tammeus, a former award-winning columnist for The Kansas City Star, writes the “Faith Matters” blog for KansasCity.com and columns for The Presbyterian Outlook and for Flatland, KCPT-TV’s digital magazine. Email him at wtammeus@gmail.com.