The winter blues can hit anyone. Get help with mental health at the holidays | Opinion
Beginning on Thanksgiving and ending after the New Year, many recognize this season as one of gratitude and joy.
But not everyone. This time of year, the winter blues attacks those with or without mental illness diagnoses. That’s especially true here in Kansas and Missouri, because many people on both sides of the state line struggle mightily with mental health issues and access to care.
Add to that new online survey findings showing that nearly 445,000 Missouri residents will spend Christmas alone (182,000 in Kansas), and it could be a Blue Christmas to thousands of people.
So, if you’re wondering what gifts to give this holiday, and you know someone coping with issues of mental illness, here’s a tip: Families of children with mental health disorders say they want one thing. To be treated like everyone else.
“It affects every person in the family,” said Heidi Custin, outreach coordinator at the National Alliance on Mental Illness for Greater Kansas City. Custin lost her son to suicide on Christmas Day in 2015. She said the loss severely affected her extended family.
“There’s people who don’t really want to come around anymore and it’s sad,” she said, referring to family members and friends who decline celebrating the holidays with Custin.
“We’ll try to have a big family get together, and everybody gets together somewhere else … except for a sister and brother-in-law who live in town, who are very supportive.”
Custin pondered the cause of it. “I don’t know if it incites fear in people who love you. I don’t know what it is,” she said.
Low rankings in yearly report
And that’s a problem, because again this year, Kansas ranks at the bottom of the 2023 State of Mental Health in America report, which ranks states for prevalence of mental illness and higher rates of access to care. Missouri doesn’t rank much higher, in 36th place.
NAMI reports that 1 in 5 adults have been diagnosed with a mental illness, and 1 in 20 adults have a serious mental health disorder. The organization has seen a 25% increase in anxiety and depression since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, according to Carol McGraw, executive director.
Perhaps more telling are the youth rankings. Kansas ranks next to last among states in America, and Missouri is again in 36th place.
Custin lost her son Adam after 10 years of attempted suicides. He died at 24. “His first attempt was at 14. So he was very young at the first attempt. And (there were) many attempts and in between there.”
On the Christmas wish list for Bethany McClenahan, president of the board of directors for NAMI Greater Kansas City, is something that might have helped Custin and her son.
“We need more therapy providers. Especially for children. We really need a change in legislation. To make mental health care more affordable and that way, more providers,” she said. McClenahan not only is president, but suffers from several mental health diagnoses, she said, including anxiety and depression.
Custin’s son Adam had been diagnosed with depression at first, and then was found to have schizophrenia. Custin wondered whether early diagnosis would have made a difference.
She thinks about him a lot, especially this time of year. And she worries about other families.
It’s also uppermost on my mind this time of year, too. Many years ago, I lived with a close family member who was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and experienced major depression. While we never hid the diagnosis, it always loomed over any family gathering.
Decreased daylight, holiday depression
But why does this time of year seem worse? It’s the early darkness, experts say.
Angeline Stanislaus, chief medical director of the Missouri Department of Mental Health, compared the phenomenon of winter blues versus seasonal affective disorder, which is an actual diagnosis. With SAD, recurring bouts of depression come when the days get shorter. “They have very strong feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness,” she said. “They can’t go about their daily life.”
Winter blues make the body feel like it’s going into “hibernation mode” with a lack of energy, Stanislaus said, “But they aren’t truly depressed and don’t have those thoughts.”
The decrease in daylight affects everyone, said Tim DeWeese, director of the Johnson County Mental Health Center.
“I do think there’s something to the fact that days are shorter,” he said. “Daylight does impact us as human beings regardless of whether you have a mental health diagnosis, and so, there’s something that we have to pay attention to.”
The holidays then pack on the stress in a one-two punch: less daylight for the body and the arm-twisting to feel happy at parties and gatherings.
DeWeese identified the pressure to feel joyful as potentitally counterproductive for children. “It’s busy. It can be a time of grieving and it can also be a time of stress when we’re dealing with family.” Responding to family members who criticize a child’s way of dressing or what they do or don’t eat can be difficult, he said.
DeWeese recounted his own struggle with depression at times. “The holiday season particularly is difficult for me. Both my parents are deceased and that’s when it hits me the hardest.”
So, as we all enter into the seasons of Christmas and New Years, be mindful of the pressure to be merry. And remember that you are not alone — the numbers bear it out.
If you think you need help, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 in either Missouri and Kansas. That’s the way to access support for mental health, or if you just need someone to talk to. That goes for children, too.
There’s one thing to remember: We’re all just trying to get through the holidays. When the pressure gets to be too much, DeWeese reminded me of one important thing: Develop authentic human connections.
“There’s something special about the power of human relationships.”
Amen to that. Merry Christmas, everyone.
This story was originally published December 15, 2023 at 5:08 AM.
