Why my son’s idea to prevent youth violence in Kansas City brought me to tears | Opinion
Who knew something so good could bring back bad memories?
Halfway through a public unveiling of Kansas City’s new Y Chat youth violence support hotline, I cried. The tears were not planned. In fact, I was in a pleasant mood as Kansas City leaders introduced for the first time its 24-hour hotline, an idea conceived two summers ago by my 15-year-old son, Giulian Williams.
What made me silently weep as I stood next to Giulian and others, including representatives from Kansas City Hall and community advocates for social justice?
Kansas City health director Marvia Jones read statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that pierced my heart.
“As we know, homicides and suicides are one of the leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 19,” Jones said during a press conference Monday at the Kansas City Health Department.
As the parent of a murdered child, I am all too familiar with gun violence. Let me tell you, losing a kid sucks the life out of you. I fought hard to keep my firstborn child, Toriano II, from becoming a statistic. I failed miserably. He died at 16.
In Sept. 2009, Toriano II was fatally shot in north St. Louis. He was killed on a Monday. That same week, I’d planned to move him to Kansas City to live with me. I wanted him to escape the rough environment he was raised in while living with his mother. His death was a stark reminder that tomorrow is never promised. When he died, I was crushed.
Although I was fully present in his life from birth, Toriano II was a troubled child. By 12 he was a runaway and car thief. At age 13, he was labeled a truant, having missed more than 70 days of school as a seventh grade student.
When I relocated to Kansas City in 2007, my son was 14 and locked up at a juvenile detention center somewhere in rural Missouri. I did everything in my power to keep Toriano II from a life of crime. To protest his unruly behavior, I refused to visit him at the youth detention center.
Before I moved here, I told him: “the world doesn’t stop because you decided to become a car thief. I’m still moving to Kansas City. Call me when you get out.”
Toriano II was released from detention at 15. Shortly after, he dropped out of high school as a freshman, the same age and grade as Giulian now. This cycle of violence must end. Judging by his quiet demeanor and concern for others, Giulian cannot become another young Black man murdered on our streets. He is an agent of change.
By 16, Toriano II was knee-deep in a neighborhood beef with a rival gang set in north St. Louis. In June of 2009, his older half-brother, Joseph Robertson, was gunned down at age 19 close to where their mother’s family lived. The next month, Toriano II came to visit me and his other siblings in Kansas City. Giulian was just 16-months-old, having turned 1 that May. He doesn’t remember the visit. I do. I practically begged Toriano II to stay in Kansas City with me. He wanted to go back to St. Louis to support his mother who’d just lost her oldest child. Without much fight, I let him return. I’d soon regret that decision. Less than three months later, on Sept. 28, 2009, the same group responsible for murdering his half brother killed Toriano II.
Y Chat is not the police department
From the time Toriano II died, I resolved to become a better parent to Giulian and my other surviving children. I’ve poured into them resiliency and a sense of community. Be kind, I often remind them. Think of others first. You never know what someone is going through. The world is bigger than just you, I like to say. Give back, always.
I hope my guidance is working.
Kansas City’s new 24-hour youth violence prevention hotline is live. Young Kansas Citians in need of help are encouraged to call or text 816-799-1720 to chat with trained anti-violence professionals who can help.
“The Y Chat team is not the Kansas City Police Department,” health department officials wrote in a media release announcing the initiative.
Two years ago, Giulian was among a group of young people who asked 3rd District Councilwoman Melissa Robinson and Mayor Quinton Lucas to support their effort to reduce violent crime in Kansas City.
They came together as part of MORE2’s first summer youth leadership group. The anti-crime organization’s executive director, Lora McDonald, attended Monday’s unveiling. City Manager Brian Platt was there. Ryana Parks-Shaw, Kansas City’s 5th District council woman and mayor pro tem, joined us at the podium. They all made remarks. Giulian spoke, too, as did Robinson’s son, Jeffery Robinson.
I couldn’t. I was too choked up.
“What haven’t we thought of this before,” Platt said.
I think the city manager spoke for a lot of us.
Y Chat is a support system for youth who may want to help avoid a violent situation, may have feelings of acting out, or are struggling with what to do. The outreach team is made up of trained anti-violence professionals.
