You can’t schedule a change in the schedule
Early on in my Momdom I forced myself to become a creature of habit. It didn’t come naturally to me (at all) but it wasn’t hard to see that things ran smoother around the house if we had a consistent routine.
Naps were always at the same time, meals were always at the same time, and outings were always at the same time. I shoved my Take Life as It Comes motto in the closet and embraced a new one: Don’t Fool With the Schedule.
(Only I didn’t say “fool”… I kind of have a potty mouth.)
During my pure stay-at-home-mom days I had my own schedule, too. I cleaned the floors on the same day each week; I dusted and shopped and had play dates on the same day each week. I cleaned the bathrooms every single Friday for so long my friends called it CTBF (Clean The Bathrooms Friday). When the schedule was broken, things spun out of control quickly and calm (as much as a family with babies is calm) was restored when things got back on track.
The kids’ schedules were the first to change. One by one they dropped naps, started school, took up sports and followed different interests. When they were all in school and I filled my days with things not necessarily in the SAHM Handbook, my tightly held schedule loosened. When my weekdays became a different kind of busy than they had always been CTBF became CTBS.
I broke the schedule and started cleaning the bathrooms on Saturdays.
GASP!
That one tiny change set more in motion. My spontaneous nature, which had tired of being held hostage to those written-in-concrete schedules for so many years, was unleashed.
Dusting on Mondays? Gone. Vacuuming every day after supper? Vanished. Unfortunately the regularly scheduled friend time evaporated, too, but so did my doing the once- a- day laundry. I had done things on a schedule for so long I felt like I was doing something wrong, like I was being selfish.
But a funny thing happened: when I missed a once-a-day laundry someone else did it. When I stopped the once-a-day vacuuming, someone else started. When I let freshly cleaned clothes sit in a basket for more than a couple hours they got folded by someone else. Cleaning fairies? Laundry fairy?
Hardly. Family. See, I’m not the only one who lives in this house. I’m not the only one who creates dirty clothes and I’m not the only one who drops crumbs and life’s debris on the living room carpet.
This did not happen overnight, it did not happen easily and it is most definitely a work in progress. There has been a certain level of sustained backlash from those for whom a schedule comes naturally and who crave predictability. For my part, I know I have a higher chaos tolerance than some members of my family, but I’ve realized the need for order and routine.
See, I’m not the only person who lives in this house; I’m not the only one on the team. I love my family and it’s my job to help things run as best as possible for everyone. If a schedule will do that, then I’ll follow a schedule.
Sort of.
I iron on Mondays…mostly; I shop on Thursdays ... mostly. And the bathrooms? I usually do them on Saturday mornings. Why? Because I can, and when I can’t, I don’t. Right now, in this stage of our Familydom, working as a team is what makes things run smoother.
As much as a house with teenagers can run smoothly.
Susan Vollenweider lives in Smithville. For more of her writing and to listen to the women’s history podcast that she co-hosts go to www.thehistorychicks.com or visit her website www.susanvollenweider.com.
This story was originally published November 10, 2015 at 7:34 PM with the headline "You can’t schedule a change in the schedule."