Every Missourian should back bipartisan bill to connect fathers with families | Opinion
A very important proposal making its way through the Missouri General Assembly is personal to me. House Bill 1948 recently passed out of the lower chamber 141-4 and into the state Senate. If approved by both bodies and signed into law by Gov. Mike Kehoe, the bipartisan measure would expand services statewide that help men become better fathers.
Who could be opposed to that?
Kids raised without a father have a tough time socially, emotionally and economically, studies have shown. Children with absent fathers experience a higher rate of depression, homelessness, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, incarceration, suicide and other socioeconomic issues than their peers with involved dads, other studies have concluded.
For my own reasons, I support any bill that would make it easier for any man to become more involved in their child’s life. On this topic, I speak from personal experience.
When I was 30 and living in south St. Louis with my 11-year-old son, I did not have a full-time job. I struggled to make ends meet. Because of the financial hardship, I did not have a place to live or reliable transportation to take my son to school or look for a job. I moved in with my grandmother. Sharing a spare room in Granny’s house with a preteen attached to my hip proved difficult. Frustration was high and my hopes were low. My pockets were even lower on cash.
At the time, I learned about the Father Support Center in St. Louis (now known as the Fathers and Families Support Center), which helped dads like me cope with the difficulties of parenthood. When I enrolled for the six-week program, I had no clue what was in store. All I knew was participation included a $75 per week stipend, which sounded appealing to a cash-strapped person like me at the time.
Program requirements included job training, anger management courses and parenting classes, and participants needed to remain alcohol- and drug-free during that time. There were attendance requirements as well. Miss too many days and you were booted out.
As a young, single father, I knew nothing about anger management, soft parenting skills or how to cope with the pressure of raising a child without meaningful income.
For job training, I remember visiting a local thrift store to purchase a cheap suit, dress shirt and tie to prepare for a mock job interview. And there was a member of the clergy who taught us how to be more patient and loving fathers. The certificate I received for completing that parenting course is one of my most treasured personal artifacts.
Thanks to the Father Support Center, I am a much better parent today than I was when I enrolled more than two decades ago. I’d love to see other fathers throughout the state struggling with a myriad of issues receive the same opportunity I did.
Partners with recovery programs, shelters, jails, prisons
Sponsored by Republican state Rep. Jamie Gragg of southwest Missouri, H.B. 1948 would create the Missouri Fathership Project within Missouri’s Department of Social Services.
The bill would fund positions at statewide nonprofits and community organizations that help fathers become more present in their kids’ lives.
In Kansas City, one such program is Fatherhood Foundations. The organization partners with recovery programs, shelters, jails and prisons to reach fathers who are trying to rebuild their lives and become engaged in their children’s lives, director Derek Bereit told me. When fathers rebuild relationships with their children, the impact breaks generational cycles of poverty, crime, and trauma, he said.
Pastor Don Lewis is co-founder and chairman of Fatherhood Foundations. In a statement sent to me, Lewis said fatherlessness isn’t just a social issue.
“It’s one of the quiet drivers behind poverty, crime, and trauma in our communities,” he said.
In the past four years, more than 700 men have participated in the organization’s programs, according to Bereit. In an email, he added that education and information are important, but many fathers face a maze of barriers including addiction recovery, housing instability, employment challenges, child support issues and complicated legal systems.
That is where the importance of programs like Father Support Center and Fatherhood Foundations lie.
“A trained fatherhood specialist can help men navigate that maze and connect them to parenting classes, job training, child support repayment, legal aid and other services that help fathers become stable and involved in their children’s lives,” Bereit wrote. “When fathers stabilize their lives and reconnect with their children, the benefits ripple outward to families, employers, neighborhoods and entire communities.”
Based on my experience as a father, I know Bereit is spot on.
