‘We get to be a family.’ Kansas DCF reverses course on Gardner couple adopting girl
Nicole DeHaven had just gotten home from a daycare Halloween party Monday afternoon when her husband told her the news.
The state of Kansas had reversed course and the Gardner couple would be able to adopt the 3-year-old girl who had lived with them since she was three days old.
“It’s a girl,” John DeHaven told his wife.
“What?” she asked, puzzled. Then, when she realized exactly what he was saying, she started to cry.
For months, the DeHavens have been at the center of an emotional battle with the state after being told they would not be able to adopt their foster daughter. Instead, a state contractor planned to place her in an adoptive home with three biological siblings, with whom she had spent limited time.
On the third anniversary of when the couple first brought the child home, the head of the Department for Children and Families had changed her recommendation, John told Nicole, and they’d be able to adopt their foster daughter who turned 3 last week. The case will still have to go through court, and a judge will have to sign off before the adoption is final.
As Nicole cried and the couple’s two toddlers asked “Mommy, what’s wrong?” John DeHaven explained to the little girl dressed as Elsa and her foster brother dressed as Spiderman, who the DeHavens have already adopted, what was happening.
“Mommy and Daddy got good news,” he told them, “that we always get to be a family.”
The announcement, Nicole DeHaven said, didn’t seem to faze the two who were already full of Halloween sugar.
“They just looked at us and smiled and asked for more candy,” Nicole told The Star on Tuesday as she started to laugh.
A spokesman with DCF declined to comment Tuesday on Secretary Laura Howard’s decision to change course on the case. The initial recommendation to adopt all four siblings together came from Cornerstones of Care, one of four state contractors that handle foster care in Kansas.
Cornerstones of Care has told The Star it also cannot comment on a specific case but provided general information on the policy aimed at keeping siblings together. Through a spokesman, Cornerstones has said its recommendations to keep siblings together “are based on multiple research studies and evidence that siblings raised together experience better long-term, healthy outcomes.”
But lawmakers and other foster families asked why, in this case, that wasn’t done sooner, before the little girl had bonded with the family.
The new development comes after a special meeting last week of the Joint Committee on Child Welfare Oversight in Topeka. Lawmakers on the committee heard nine hours of testimony behind closed doors regarding the DeHaven case and got the opportunity to delve deeper into why decisions were made.
Sen. Molly Baumgardner, a Louisburg Republican, has been the most vocal legislative advocate for the little girl and the DeHavens. She repeatedly insisted that the girl, who has never lived with her biological siblings, shouldn’t be removed from the only home she’s ever known.
During and after last week’s meeting, a frustrated Baumgardner said Howard could intervene and come up with a different plan for the siblings.
When the DeHavens found out about Howard’s change of heart and the fact that they could adopt the little girl, Nicole first called her mother. Then Baumgardner.
The senator told The Star Tuesday that last week’s hearing made a difference.
“The information that we received was so compelling,” Baumgardner said. “Obviously, not only were the legislators listening intently, but Secretary Howard, and the other two individuals from DCF, that were there in attendance, were listening intently as well.”
Last week, the plan was to remove the little girl and three of her siblings from their foster homes and place them in an adoptive home on Nov. 23, the day before Thanksgiving. Though the little girl — who is the youngest of the four siblings — will stay with the DeHavens, plans don’t appear to have changed for the other three, Nicole DeHaven said.
The three siblings, who were removed from their mother’s care four months before the little girl was born, have been in the same home for three years. That foster mom has told Cornerstones of Care that she would like to adopt the 5-year-old. And the operator of the daycare where the three have gone since 2019 has told the contractor that her family would like to adopt the older two.
Baumgardner said she still has concerns about the three siblings and their futures. She said she hopes that DC and Cornerstones “realize that we still need to be looking at what are the specific needs of each child.”
The DeHavens still plan to fight on behalf of those three children who could be placed in the adoptive home later this month. As they do that, Nicole said they’ll also finally be able to make plans for the future, like their son’s birthday later this month and the holidays.
Even far down the road as her daughter grows up.
“Now she gets to be in Girl Scouts,” Nicole DeHaven said. “And I get to be the troop leader.
“All these dreams that, you know, we had talked about with the kids, it’s like we get to do that now.”
This story was originally published November 1, 2022 at 2:43 PM.
