Iran, war and politics: How do you talk to kids about what’s going on in the world?

Rumors of war and retaliation are permeating the internet, airwaves and water cooler discussions all across the country.

Adults have a hard enough time making sense of the turbulent international climate, so how on earth are they supposed to talk to children about the current state of affairs?

Experts say calmly and honestly.

Here are a few tips on how to talk with your children about U.S. tensions with Iran and other global issues.

Ask what they’ve heard

Don’t assume your child has heard what you’ve heard.

The best jumping off point for parents is to ask their children what they know about the topic at hand, experts at parenting publication Motherly say.

“Give children the chance to talk,” teacher Anna Tomlinson told the Independent School Parent magazine. “Ask what they already know, listen carefully and answer questions honestly using plain, direct language.”

Talk in the morning

Timing can be everything in talking with your child about potentially distressing topics.

Having these conversations in the morning gives children an opportunity to ruminate and digest what they’ve learned and even discuss it with others, educational expert Katie Harrison told the School Run.

“It can help prevent them worrying on their own while they’re trying to go to sleep,” she told the outlet.

Ask openly, answer directly

Asking open-ended questions can help adults pinpoint and address a child’s misconceptions, Tania Botting told the Independent School Parent.

But be sure to answer them directly and without bias, Kate Millichamp told the outlet.

“Providing factual, easy to digest and non-judgmental information, avoiding conjecture and being honest empowers children to effectively risk assess their own part in today’s society,” she says.

Provide context

With a great deal of talk about drafts and the presumed threat of World War III, psychologist Dr. Betsie Saltzberg told WFAA it’s essential to place current events — like tensions with Iran — within their greater context.

“I would re-frame it this way: the last world war we had was 75 years ago,” she told the outlet, adding that conflict in the Middle East is nothing new — it goes back centuries. She says context gives children more perspective “without sugar-coating the facts.”

Time put together a fact sheet to help adults talk with kids about tensions between the U.S. and Iran here.

Keep an eye on their emotions — and yours

Experts say it’s essential for parents to remain calm when discussing tense topics.

“Children are going to pick up [parents’] non-verbal and their verbal communication,” Saltzberg told WFAA. “Reassure them that they are safe and secure in your home. That’s No. 1.”

Motherly suggests “checking-in” with your child about their feelings by sharing your own then asking how they feel. Statements like “I feel angry when I know that someone got hurt,” can help children frame their own thoughts and feelings, the outlet says.

Experts also recommend not glossing over distressing topics — if the harder truth emerges that a parent has previously diminished, it can lead to mistrust, Harrison told School Run.

Use kid-friendly news sources

There are a number of news sources available for children that expose them to current affairs in an age-appropriate manner, according to School Run.

Publications like KidsPost from the Washington Post, Time for Kids and Newsela can help inform children before conversations at the monkey bars ever begin.

This story was originally published January 8, 2020 at 9:22 AM.