That meth on the nightstand? Ghosts put it there, Louisiana man tells the cops

A Louisiana man who police say had meth on his nightstand blamed the drugs on a spooky fall guy — a ghost.

The Ouachita Parish Sheriff’s Office went to the man’s home in the West Monroe area on Wednesday after Michael L. Auttonberry called 911 and said someone had “stabbed” him in the head, according to KNOE in Monroe, La.

Deputies found Auttonberry, 59, “at the front door ... cursing at deputies and people who were obviously not there,” according to the arrest report posted on the sheriff’s department website.

He was not calm and was not cooperating, the report states, so deputies put him in handcuffs.

Deputies could not find evidence that he’d been stabbed by an ax, the report says. Auttonberry told deputies there were intruders in his room and asked them to search, the report states.

They didn’t find anyone else in the house, but did find something on the nightstand, the report says.

“In plain view on a night stand,” deputies wrote, they found an “open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine.”

The report says Auttonberry “stated ghost or intruders placed the methamphetamine on him, then stated they were currently climbing out the window near by which was not accurate.”

Further searching of the house “produced an labeled pill bottle containing approximately 1 gram of methamphetamine,” the report says.

Ghost busted?

Not hardly.

Auttonberry was booked into Ouachita Correctional Center and charged with making a false police report and possessing a controlled dangerous substance, The News Star in Monroe reported.