The Buzz

Thought the 2016 primaries couldn’t be worse? Sorry, we’re now starting the general election campaign

A man in a Trump superman cape departs at a Trump rally last month. It’s the candidate who’s looking super these days.
A man in a Trump superman cape departs at a Trump rally last month. It’s the candidate who’s looking super these days. AP

Looks like nothing short of kryptonite can keep Donald Trump from the Republican nomination. (Just picture him in tights, with a cape “… able to brand tall buildings with a single name!”)

He dispatched the pol he dubbed “little Marco” on Rubio’s Florida home turf on sorta-Super Tuesday. He won North Carolina and Illinois. And he was leading in Missouri Wednesday morning.

Meantime, Trump is luxuriating in the comfort of his presumptive nominee status. He told Fox News on Wednesday morning that he’ll sit out the cable channel’s debate next week. The nominee’s nominal excuse: he’s speaking at American Israel Public Affairs Committee that night. But AIPAC is holding a three-day conference. The scheduling choice is all Trump’s.

On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton won just about everywhere on on Tuesday. (Or maybe actually everywhere. Looking at you, Missouri.) Declared Wonkette: “Hillary Clinton Wins All The Things, Coming For Donald Trump’s Tiny Hands Now.”

Bottom line, you’re stuck with ’em, America. Hillary or Donald will almost certainly be your next president. You don’t like either one. Still, it’s them. Because, well, democracy.

The Drudge Report asks “Are You Ready?” Like we have a choice.

Other candidates, almost adorably, are still scrapping. Bernie Sanders, the Larry David doppelganger, remains in the race through the convention. He campaigned Tuesday night in Arizona as the unwavering class warrior. But the numbers give him almost no hope of overtaking Clinton.

Congratulations, Gov. John Kasich, you preserved your campaign Tuesday by winning at home in Ohio. And, what’s that? The former speaker of no less than the U.S. House of Representatives voted for you? That’s gotta feel good.

But wait, that same John Boehner thinks it’s the current House speaker who should ultimately get your party’s presidential nomination? Ouch.

Ted Cruz lost everywhere Tuesday but perhaps one state. (Yo, Missouri, speed it up.) He continues to pitch the narrative that Trump can still be stopped, but that only Cruz can stop him.

Cruz also repeated a clear conspiracy theory Tuesday night. By his accounting: The news media wants Clinton in the Oval Office; Trump is the most likely to lose to Clinton in November; Trump has been given the most airtime so he can win the primaries and lose the general election.

The wiseacres at The Onion, however, contend that Cruz will only stop Cruz. Before the Tuesday results came in, the site gave its suggestion for what approach might most hurt the Texan: “In what many political observers are calling a new low in an election season that has already seen its share of negative campaigning, a scathing anti–Ted Cruz attack ad airing this week reportedly shows nothing more than a still photograph of the Texas senator’s face for 30 seconds, unaccompanied by any text, voiceover, or music.”

Speaking of own best enemies, Clinton will now have to deal with the sort of coverage given to a candidate whose been on the national political scene since before most of the network correspondents following her were potty trained. And she isn’t helping herself.

The Daily Show” did a whole bit on how she flubs the easy parts of the campaign. For instance, she said in a recent interview that during the 2011 U.S. military intervention in Libya “we didn’t lose a single person.” True enough, no American troops died in helping overthrow Muammar Gadhafi. But, Hillary, tone deaf much? Four U.S. diplomats died the next year at the consulate in Benghazi and triggered investigations of Clinton’s response from congressional committees that just won’t go away.

That was just one instance that show host Trevor Noah mocked with his “This Should Be Easy” segment.

But that same basic cable Comedy Central network gives Clinton some love tonight. She’ll be courting the younger set with a cameo on “Broad City” (old folks, think “Laverne & Shirley” but set in New York with lots of weed and sex).

Scott Canon: 816-234-4754, @ScottCanon

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