Blue Valley mentor program fosters ‘new kind of bond’

Corsages, selfies and smiles were all on full display at Libby Cooper’s house the night of the Blue Valley North homecoming dance. Girls and boys gathered in groups in the front hall, dressed to the nines with fancy dresses, bow ties and all the right stuff for a school dance. Checking out the snazzy ensembles, they pulled out phones and snapped photos with different groups.

They headed downstairs, where the basement was transformed into an Italian restaurant, with long tables covered in checkered cloths set for 24. The call went out for pictures and they all went to the backyard. As they perched on a set of steps and smiled for their parents’ cameras, kids who see one another every day at school were buzzing with excitement.

Group photos and selfies done, it was time to sit down to dinner. Smiling parents helped as they lined up to the buffet and piled mounds of steaming pasta and sauce, toasty garlic bread and crisp salad on their plates.

They ate, laughed and talked about school. One boy pulled his leg up at the side of the table so that everyone could see his brand new shoes. After dinner, the group started up a game of ping pong and cheered each other on as the little ball flew through the air.

The mood was so relaxed and friendly, anyone might not have guessed that for at least half of them, it was the first time they were going to homecoming. For many, it would be the first school dance of any kind.

This group might never have gotten together without Blue Valley North’s peer tutoring program, which brings together students from mainstream classes with students who are part of the special education program.

All of the Blue Valley high schools have peer mentoring or tutoring programs. Students can sign up to be peer tutors for whichever hour fits their schedules, and they get course credit for being tutors.

The students who are in special ed don’t stay in the separate special ed room the whole day. They’ll go into the regular classroom for electives and sometimes even core subjects.

A peer tutor might sit through a mainstream class with a special ed student and help them focus or understand the teacher’s instructions more clearly. In another situation, the tutor might spend the hour in the special ed room with other special ed students and tutors.

“It’s nice to help them through it instead of taking over (the work). Sometimes we’ll do worksheets together from the start if it’s confusing,” said tutor Hannah Erickson, a senior. “It’s a very open environment; they don’t have to be afraid.”

Peer tutoring has been at Blue Valley North for more than 20 years, said intensive resource teacher Dana Steinwart.

“We couldn’t do our jobs without it,” Steinwart said. “The kids wouldn’t learn what they learn without it.”

The program has morphed into an integral part of special education, she said. The real shift came a few years ago, when “we decided … we would ask them to do an activity with the students outside of class, and that’s when it changed for the better,” Steinwart said.

A big part of that is the intangible social skills students pick up when they’re with other people their own age in a variety of situations.

Parent Melissa Walline agrees. Her 16-year-old daughter, Grace, who has Down syndrome, is in the program now, but her son Grant went through it as a special ed student a few years ago.

“It’s evolved. The teenagers are doing more and more,” Walline said. It was the students who planned and executed the whole homecoming outing.

When the teachers decided to add a social component to the program, they were thinking of a lunchtime meet-up for their students and the tutors — nothing fancy, but a chance to step outside academia.

“I think it forms a new kind of bond, where they’re in the hallway interacting. They see them as friends, not just tutors,” said intensive resource teacher Jordan Louis. “It’s more social, more natural.”

Because of this shift, the bonds they’re forging don’t stop when they step outside of the classroom, and that’s what makes the program so valuable.

“If I take Grace out with me into the community and she sees someone, they always stop and say hello,” said Walline. “It starts with the teachers. They set a tone for, ‘We’re going to do this, and we’re going to do this well.’ ”

When Cooper, a senior, and the other tutors got together to make homecoming a safe environment for their special ed friends, it wasn’t a class assignment. They didn’t have to do it, but they wanted to do it.

Putting together the group for homecoming was a much bigger production than the simple lunch group the teachers had envisioned, but that didn’t deter Cooper or her classmates.

“Personally, I just think that letting the kids be included the way everyone else is (gives them a) regular life. If you don’t let them live like everyone else, they won’t be able to have a normal life,” Erickson said.

Going to a big school event can be intimidating for anyone, and one of the big goals of the homecoming outing was to create a safe social space.

Walline said Grace “had no desire to go to the dance her freshman year. Doing it this way made it cool, made it safe. The (peer tutors) had talked with them about it. They sent home a flyer, and Grace brought it home, slapped it on the fridge and said, ‘I’m going to homecoming with these guys.’

“The fact that it wasn’t a disaster (for Grace) was huge,” she said. “She didn’t have any negative interactions, so when the next dance rolls around, I won’t have to convince her.”

Walline also likes the sense of independence being part of the group has given Grace.

“As soon as she got (to Cooper’s house), she went off with her group of kids and was like, ‘See you later, Mom and Dad,’ and wanted very little to do with us,” Walline said. “It’s as normal a high school activity as you can get. I don’t think you can underestimate the value of Grace picking up the subtle gestures of how to be social and mimicking appropriate behavior.”

Parent Leslie Breedlove had similar feelings about the dance experience for her son, Matthew, a freshman who has autism.

“It was very emotional for me as a mom to see my son partake in a ‘normal’ activity,” Breedlove said.

“He hated getting ready for it, and he wasn’t very excited about going, but it was important for Matthew ... so the next time he knows what to expect,” she said. “When you ask him (about it), he says, ‘I had a blast.’ ”

The group made arrangements to meet at Cooper’s house for the buffet dinner and pictures. They coordinated rides for all the special ed students to get to the dance, and once they got there, the tutors did their best to make sure everyone in the group was enjoying themselves.

Speakers blared Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance” and multicolored lights swirled around the floor. Student Patrick Chapman didn’t need much encouragement to start tearing it up on the dance floor, though some of his classmates were a little more reserved.

“There were a few kids that didn’t really want to dance, but we tried to help them dance,” Cooper said. “… We tried to make it fun for them”

Other students crowded around them, but this group stuck together, encouraging one another to dance. At the dance, as in other social activities, the peer tutors and the special ed students weren’t in two separate, distinct groups — they freely commingled just like any other group of friends.

Going to the homecoming dance isn’t the only way the tutors and special ed students socialize outside of class.

On a recent Sunday afternoon, some of the students and the tutors gathered at Lakewood Middle School to practice basketball.

Freshman Kathryn Embry practiced rebounding with tutor Erica Schoeman, and although she missed the ball a few times, it didn’t dampen either of their spirits. Schoeman gave her a few tips — turn when you see the ball go over your head, and hold your hands like this to get a good grip on the ball.

Embry tried again, with a determined look on her face — and she got it. She and Schoeman slapped high fives and bumped fists, and then it was time for the next activity.

Erickson started the team at Blue Valley North as part of the Unified Sports program. In Unified Sports, Special Olympics athletes team up with partners who don’t have disabilities to play various sports. In the spring, Erickson organized a soccer team. This fall, it’s been basketball.

Hannah got the idea from seeing the Unified Sports teams at other schools.

“I played all sports growing up, then I just kind of based it on it on what I learned growing up,” she said. “I know that the kids don’t have same opportunities to be on the school teams or have outlets to be active while being part of a team.”

As a kid she played all kinds of sports — volleyball, soccer, basketball and softball. She played softball at Blue Valley North her freshman and sophomore years.

“I think I’ve been able to see what a difference it’s made in them,” Erickson said. “I’ve gotten multiple emails from parents. It made their attitudes better, and on a normal day, they’d just be sitting at home. … They all love it just because a lot of them are either not developed enough or not athletic enough to be on a regular school basketball team.”

Erickson instructed a group about how cover another player who has the ball while moving up and down the court.

“Stay low. Don’t let them get by you,” Erickson told the students. “Good! Way to keep your hands.”

They moved all around the court, staying focused, and at the end, all the students and tutors clapped for a job well done.

In a different part of the gym, tutor Garrett Siegman, a senior, led another group in practicing shots at the basket. It was still the same rhythm as Erickson’s and Schoeman’s groups — calm explanations, repeated clearly several times, followed up by celebratory or encouraging words as they went along.

The team is training for an upcoming tournament, and they want to do well.

Erickson keeps going with the sports teams because the students have such a great time being there.

“I can see the smiles on their faces, and you can tell they’re really, genuinely happy,” she said.

The relationships they have aren’t one-sided. They’re making mutually beneficial connections. The parents see it, the teachers see it — and so do the kids.

Being with the peer tutors “helps enhance (Matthew’s) communication and his ability to function day to day,” Breedlove said.

But it addition to the help Matthew receives, his mother sees that having the chance to interact with students like Matthew also helps the tutors learn and grow.

Tutor Ryan McMonigle, a senior, said he’s learned in two different ways. Last year, he became friendly with a boy on the swim team who was in special ed. His friend kept a good attitude and was very comfortable in his own skin, and that in turn let other people feel comfortable with him as well.

That experience helped McMonigle decide to be a peer tutor this year.

“I just learned from him that you need to be patient, and you have to be understanding, which isn’t that hard. You have to understand that these kids need extra help, and it makes you feel really good if you’re able to help them or at least bring a smile to their faces,” he said. “I feel like I’m more patient with people now, I kind of like to help people more.”

For Cooper, it’s partly about the positive energy that comes from working with the special ed students.

“Every morning when I walk in, they’re all like, ‘Hi Libby.’ They’re so happy that you’re there. It makes you feel good,” she said.

Erickson said she’s learned to have more confidence in her own abilities as she’s worked with the special ed students.

“The most challenging part is just not worrying if I’m doing something right,” she said. “I used to always be worried that I wasn’t saying the right thing. But now I’ve learned that working and including them is enough.”

After having the experience of being peer tutors, some of the tutors want to work in the field of special education when they finish college. After all, that’s how two of Blue Valley North’s intensive resource teachers — Louis and Kaci Beichley — got started in the field themselves.

Louis got her first similar experience in college. Beichley was part of a group at her high school in Iowa called Best Buddies that brought students with disabilities together with mainstream students to physical education classes.

“I remember asking the teachers, ‘How can I (get to) be around these people all day long?’ ” Beichley said.

Louis said that being around students with special needs on a regular basis helps normalize the experience and makes the tutors and their friends more aware.

“I think it’s more of a social aspect that (the tutors) take away. Just because you’re helping (the students) doesn’t mean you’re above them,” Louis said.

Erickson said she’s thinking of becoming a either a teacher or paraprofessional in special ed. Cooper also wants to go into education and said she’s thought about getting into special ed, too.

For now, though, they’re just taking the time to enjoy the company of their classmates and taking joy in being peer tutors.

This story was originally published November 4, 2015 at 8:57 AM with the headline "Blue Valley mentor program fosters ‘new kind of bond’."