Carrot cake and the all-important cake-to-icing ratio

I’m kind of proud of myself. Not to brag or anything, but I’ve got a “life hack.” I didn’t even know I had a life hack until I told my daughter a stellar tip I had just discovered and she sarcastically bleated, “Congratulations Mom, you’ve entered the life hack zone.”

The only problem with my debut life hack is that it’s very local. If you don’t live in the vicinity of the recently refreshed Hen House on 119th and Roe it’s basically useless, which is a shame because my life hack is yummy.

Here it is. Have you ever wanted a slice of carrot cake with loads of luscious cream cheese frosting from the bakery? Sure you have. Dumb question. Now, have you ever noticed that a single slice of carrot cake cost almost $5?

And just to get this out of the way early. Yes, I know if I buy a whole carrot cake it’s more bake good for your buck, but I don’t trust myself home alone with an entire carrot cake. Bad things will happen. As in I could be tempted to eat the entire cake. Not all at once mind you because I’m not an animal.

But I could get the cake, eat a lot of it, like maybe, thinking conservatively, a third. Then in an attempt to keep my family's greedy little paws away from my sweetie I create a hidden fortress for the cake at the back of the fridge and by this I mean shove quinoa and brussel sprouts in front of it thus saving it for furtive late night snacking.

My gluttony will lead to a “I can’t believe I single handedly ate an entire cake” shame spiral which will bring on a bout of depression where I self medicate, with yep, more baked goods. Now do you understand why I don’t buy a whole cake? The emotional and physical cost is too high.

So, focusing once again on the single slice of carrot cake theme I’ve discovered a way at Hen House to upgrade your slice of carrot cake not only in terms of size, but frosting depth. Please don’t tell me you aren’t acquainted with frosting depth? For all your cake-eating amateurs out there frosting depth is the all-important cake to icing ratio.

If there’s just a smear of frosting you’re being cheated out of the full cake experience. A quality carrot cake has a majestic mountain of icing and as any cake connoisseur will tell you if there’s a way to get more frosting you go for it.

Brace yourself for greatness because here’s a carrot cake slice life hack coming your way. Do not buy your slice of carrot cake already pre-packaged from the bakery. To get the better slice of carrot cake, for almost the same price, go to the deli area and ask for a slice from the cake in the case. This slice will be substantial and laden down with so much frosting you’ll almost feel sorry for the cake having to bear the burden of that much cream cheese goodness.

The experience is made even sweeter by the fact that you life hacked your way to bakery bliss. Now go to the check out and hear the cashier say, “Wow, that’s a big slice of cake.”

Smile, nod, then swagger walk out of the Hen House, maybe even do a fist pump and think to yourself, “Yeah, I’m a life hacker.”

Trust me, it’s going to feel great and the best part will be eating the cake in your car in the parking lot because if you take it home you might feel compelled to share it.

Consider that another life hack.

This story was originally published December 28, 2016 at 9:43 AM with the headline "Carrot cake and the all-important cake-to-icing ratio."