What does it take to win back a Hallmark holiday movie fan? This sweet plot twist
Something was wrong in my holiday universe, and I’m not talking about the coronavirus. It’s always omnipresent. But COVID-19 aside, something felt off. For the first time in two decades, I just wasn’t feeling it in regard to any Hallmark holiday movies.
It’s hard to explain the feeling of having no desire to watch a Hallmark movie after 20 years spent wallowing in them. Yes, I know their plots are repetitive and sappy.
Girl meets boy, each finds the other one irritating and yet they join forces to save a Christmas tree farm, reindeer ranch, or a winter carnival and together find true love and their holiday spirit.
Trust me I know I’m not watching cinematic genius, but the movies are like wrapping yourself in a blanket that smells like your dog. Not great, but comforting, nevertheless.
I knew I was in real trouble when the latest Candace Cameron Bure holiday offering didn’t ignite my movie mojo. Bure is the undisputed goddess of Hallmark TV offerings.
Does it matter that the 44-year-old Bure seems frozen in time, usually playing a plucky mid-level executive who seems to be in her late 20s? No, it does not, because to enjoy Hallmark movies you must suspend your belief in reality.
When you have plots that veer from time travel to amnesia, fairy godmothers to a gingerbread house contest that can save an entire town, these holiday offerings necessitate that you just go with the flow and put your brain on autopilot. I like to think of them as a respite for your mind.
But this month, as much as I tried to cuddle up with the new offering of Hallmark movies, it just wasn’t working. I couldn’t watch a single one for more than 10 minutes. Worse, none was even DVR worthy. This was unprecedented for me.
I started making a list of reasons why. Could it be because Hallmark uses the same stable of actors year after year, and I was getting a serial dating vibe with an overlay of commitment issues? Seriously how many men can the Hallmark mainstay Lacey Chabert fall in love with? She should have stopped with the prince from 2014’s “A Royal Christmas.” He was super dreamy.
Maybe it’s that Hallmark is churning out too many holiday movies and they’re losing their charm? This year, 40 new movies debuted. When you’ve got a movie titled “Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater” you might need to institute some quality control.
To see if I was the only suffering from a Hallmark holiday movie ennui, I took to social media and discovered that I was not alone. Julianna Miner, blogger, writer and hardcore Hallmark aficionado, runs the Facebook page “Is This Hallmark Movie Good for a Hallmark Movie?” Miner says she, too, has experienced a Hallmark movie disconnect.
“They’ve stopped feeling magical. It’s more like they’re mass producing a product that is written by algorithm.”
I was ready to abandon Hallmark movies and sashay over to Netflix but then a holiday miracle occurred. While folding laundry I happened upon “Christmas She Wrote” starring Hallmark mainstay Danica McKellar.
McKellar plays a writer whose column gets dropped by her newspaper. Devastated, she returns to her hometown where her editor, realizing he made a mistake travels 3,000 miles to woo her back.
Of course, you can see how I was intrigued: column, writer. Honestly, they had me at editor wooing.
For two hours I was totally into the silly, extremely unrealistic story. Even my husband walking into the room and making fun of me for watching something this dumb didn’t lessen my enjoyment.
In fact, for a brief moment all felt right with the world.
Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs, on Twitter at @snarkynsuburbs on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.
This story was originally published December 15, 2020 at 5:00 AM with the headline "What does it take to win back a Hallmark holiday movie fan? This sweet plot twist."