Show them who’s boss by letting the smudging begin

Have there been times in your life when you’ve tried everything in your power to ignore or rectify a wrong in your life? And if nothing works, have you then considered outlandish fixes? I am there.

An apparition holding a ginormous grudge haunts my house. I don’t really know the difference between ghosts and poltergeists, nor do I care; but this other-world spirit refuses to exit the building no matter how nicely I ask or threaten.

My family has lived in our suburban home for seven years, and from the minute a few neighbors whispered that the former tenant died in our house, I’ve been bristled up like a porcupine. The problem is I’m not quite sure if I believe in hauntings — so I chose to ignore the first few events.

When we first moved in, my daughters who shared a room heard someone walking and mumbling something right after they’d go to sleep. I don’t think it was gradually screeching out the words “Get Out!” or else my girls would have jumped into our bed, screaming like extras in the first “Poltergeist” movie. This occurred several times.

Next we had one of our cats project herself through the upstairs balusters to land on the third from the bottom step. She broke her poor kitty hip from the fall and required surgery at the mere age of 3 months. She’s fine now. The next kitten we found in a shelter, and within a month, it also fell to its near demise by falling onto the same third step, landing on her head. The end result was traumatic for us all.

A couple of years later, my eldest daughter fell from the same step and broke her arm. What is with this step?

What if the poor woman who passed away in the house, died on that step!

When sharing these coincidences with friends and anyone else who would listen, I saw a pattern that I should smudge my house. I must confess I had to look that one up. I’d never heard of smudging in my church. Plus, fingerprints on any glass surface really annoy me.

This week I caved in and bought the sage – the essential ingredient to cleanse your home of negative energy. I might have to bring it out again when my girls are teens, but that’s for a different story.

So why sage? Why couldn’t I use rosemary or thyme? I found the obviously reputable site of www.GetOutofmyHouseBeforeILoseit.com and educated myself on how to clear my “third-step pusher” out for good.

Apparently, smudging is a Native American tradition that’s used to correct a person or house’s energy by using intentional prayer, positive energy and the smoke of burning sage — preferably fanned to every corner of the house with a turkey feather. And you know every family has several of those lying around!

In case you’re a crafter, you can make your own smudge stick or wand by firmly tying together that large quantity of dried sage you have in your kitchen junk drawer. Using your favorite color of embroidery floss to secure adds a personal flare that separates you from other suburban smudgers.

For extra smudgery powers, I’ll perform the steps near the New Moon (definitely not the Old Moon). Then I’ll light my bedazzled herb wand from a vanilla scented Yankee candle, and distribute the smoke with a feathered fan I picked up when I was in the stage production of “Hello, Dolly!” Never hurts to add a little dramatic flare.

If you decide to do this in your home, don’t forget to remove all metal from your body and be free of alcohol for two days prior to smudging. (I’m positive they don’t mean Chardonnay, so I’m good).

In fact, I might need a glass in my other hand while I do this. I want the spirit out, but might need a bit of liquid courage to walk over that third step!

This story was originally published June 30, 2017 at 10:52 AM with the headline "Show them who’s boss by letting the smudging begin."