Tone deaf to talents? She may not be on key, but this mom is benefiting from vocals

I have news that should have my entire family prostrating at my feet and begging for forgiveness. This is because for years they have made fun of me and maligned one of my “gifts” and true loves: singing.

It’s imperative that I note I’m the only person in the world who thinks my singing could be called a gift. I’m not only tone deaf, but I also enjoy singing loudly with unbridled enthusiasm as I go about my day.

Fortunately for the general public, I confine my singing to my house and car. Unfortunately for my neighbors, at certain times of the year when the windows are open, they’ve been subjected to what I’m going to call impromptu concerts — or what my son would call screeching.

If you think I’m exaggerating about how bad my singing is, I promise you I’m not.

I was kicked out of my high school choir — an elective, mind you — because according to the choir director, who gave off excitable diva vibes, I was not only “tone deaf” but also “couldn’t differentiate between singing and shouting” and was “drowning out the other choir members with my caterwauling.”

Now one might assume this might have diminished my joy of singing, or at the very least made me self-conscious about belting out a song. It didn’t. Instead, it emboldened me. No one was going to stop me from singing.

That said, I never joined any choir again. I was a solo act, saving all of my singing for my family. If I’m cleaning the house, folding laundry, even mowing the grass, I’m probably singing.

It’s safe to say my family has never enjoyed my, ahem, vocal talent — especially my children. They’ve whined, made rude comments and pleaded with me to stop.

Last year, my daughter’s boyfriend spent a week with us during Christmas and her one request was for me to not break out in song at any time during his visit. (It was excruciatingly hard but I complied.)

One of their biggest complaints, and to be fair also a major peeve of my husband’s, is that I don’t know all the words to the songs I sing, so I make up my own lyrics.

Excuse me, I’m not a karaoke machine. Who knows all the words to every song? Furthermore, who’s to say my rendering couldn’t be interpreted as an artistic choice or even, in some cases, an improvement?

The answer to that last question is probably no one.

But now my family must take back all of their disdain for my singing because I just read a new study that said singing is good for your brain as you age. All my “caterwauling” has and is improving my cognitive function. But that’s not all. I’m also “releasing endorphins” which help with relieving pain and can boost mood.

At this point, you might think my family, upon hearing this, would immediately and profusely start apologizing for years of chastising my songbird nature. Sadly, that hasn’t happened.

Upon hearing the news, my children shared that my singing has had the exact opposite effect on them. Yes, they dared to suggest that years of listening to me has probably hastened their cognitive decline and instead of releasing endorphins, has increased their cortisol levels.

Then there’s my husband who says that my habit of “making up lyrics” has ruined countless songs for him — forever.

Gasp. That hurts. It almost makes me want to quit singing.

But in the name of better brain health, I’ll continue to give my vocal chords a mighty workout. Just as my husband will continue to wear his noise-canceling headphones.

Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs @snarkynsuburbs, on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.

This story was originally published May 7, 2025 at 5:00 AM.