No to ‘normies’: Put label marker down and stop ‘no drama mama’ and ‘boy mom’ talk

I’m going to make an educated guess that we all hate being labeled. The one huge caveat here is that we don’t mind it if the “label” is exceedingly complimentary. Most of us are probably thinking, go ahead and keep labels like “genius” or “beautiful” coming.

But as a rule, people get a little chafed at being labeled. For instance, I hate the label “normies.” I hear that word a lot in political discourse. As in, “if you take into the consideration how the ‘normies’ vote, the election is going to be tight.”

What the heck is a normie? Yes, I know it’s supposed to mean ordinary and/or average people, but here’s breaking news: No one thinks they’re average. We all think we’re very special, mainly because a lot of us had parents who told us we were.

Some of us (me, for instance) even aspire to be “normal.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve moaned, “Why can’t I just be normal.”

Yesterday I said exactly that to my cat because I had spent an entire day thinking about barrel shorts.

You don’t want me to go deep on this. So let me just say that barrel shorts are the “must have” fashion for spring. The best description I can offer is that they appear to be what would happen if jodhpurs and a mini skirt had a baby.

Apologies in advance if you’ll be thinking about this the rest of the day. Hopefully you have a cat to talk it out with.

One of my least favorite acts of labeling is what I’m going to call frivolous categorization, and it’s usually the result of self-labeling. Two self-inflicted labels that make me sigh, roll my eyes, and then sigh again (just in case the first sigh didn’t deliver the impact I wanted) are “no drama mama” and “girl’s girl.”

If someone tells me they’re a “no drama mama” or wears any article of clothing that says “no drama mama” — especially if it’s spelled out in rhinestones — I know with certainty that they are, indeed, full of drama, live for drama and excel at manufacturing drama.

A woman proclaiming herself a “girl’s girl” is another ick. Don’t despair if you’re wondering what that means. I also had to search it when I first started hearing it bandied about.

In the simplest terms a “girl’s girl” is a woman who “encourages and values other women.”

Shouldn’t encouraging and valuing people be the baseline for human decency? Do you need to go around saying you’re a “girl’s girl”? Much like the “no drama mama” moniker, I’m suspicious of anyone who feels the need to broadcast this.

To me it feels like you’re cosplaying being a person with some measure of goodness, hence your hankering to ensure everyone knows you’re a “girl’s girl”.

A label that just downright confuses me is “boy mom”. I actually thought I was a boy mom since I have a son.

But years ago, I was rather rudely corrected by a “real” boy mom, who had the bumper sticker on her car to prove it. I was told that since I have a daughter, I don’t qualify. To be a “real” boy mom, you can only have sons.

This woman then sneered at me and said, as if it was an insult, that I was “just a mom.”

I laughed because as far as labels go, that’s one I have no problem with. In fact, I can say with confidence that “mom” is my favorite label.

Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs @snarkynsuburbs, on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.

This story was originally published February 26, 2025 at 5:00 AM.