Note to big box stores: A mom kiosk would be a great addition to the dorm supply area
Many books have been written about parenting. But the one book I’ve yet to see is a how-to on buying stuff for your daughter’s college dorm or apartment without having a complete meltdown in the shower curtain aisle at Target.
For this entire month while I’ve frequented Target and Home Goods stores, I’ve been an eyewitness to the emotional tightrope mothers are walking as they shop with their college-bound daughters.
The moms, usually attempting to be the voice of reason and financial restraint, are gently trying to prod their daughters to make more practical choices. For instance: “Do you really need a $250 comforter when in the 18 years I’ve known you, you’ve made your bed exactly 11 times?”
This motherly question delivered with love — as in just oozing with parental affection — will be greeted with the trifecta of a sigh, eye roll and then a dramatic departure that involves some hair choreography.
It could be a ponytail swaying fiercely, hair whip, or a messy bun bob. But never fear, the child doesn’t go very far and can usually be found one aisle over, staring at her phone.
At this point, the mom is conflicted. Does she follow her daughter to the towels and double down telling her child to start acting like someone who’s about to be enrolling in college, not preschool? Or does she ignore the drama in an effort to get the dorm shopping done?
I don’t know if there is a right answer because I’ve done both: the behavior confrontation in in the bath mat aisle where I sternly whispered some “advice,” and the drama-avoidance strategy.
Honestly, each one was a fail. Looking back maybe I should have acted like an 18-year-old and sighed, whipped my hair and then stomped over to the bedding area.
Now, as a seasoned parent who’s reached the “been there, done that” phase of the college move-in experience, I always feel compelled to render aid when I see a mother in distress.
But thanks to the “training” that my own daughter has given me (as in, “Mom no one wants you butting into their personal business. It’s creepy and you scare people.”) I’ve learned to valiantly suppress the urge to be helpful.
Instead, I give each mom I see a smile with just the slightest head nod that I hope conveys the message of, “This too shall pass.”
As I was doing my creep-free smiles and nods this month, I had an epiphany that retailers are really missing an opportunity to cater to the customers who answer to “mom.”
In August, stores that sell bedding, towels, etc., should set up “I Heart Mom” kiosks that offer free calming cups of tea, lavender scented sachets and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
These kiosks would all be staffed by women who say things like, “You’ve got this.” “You’re a great mom.” And “You’re right. Your daughter doesn’t need eight decorative pillows for a twin bed.”
Just think of the serenity this would bring to these frazzled mothers who, at this point, are feeling very unappreciated. It would also, I’m sure, boost sales.
A happy mom spends way more money than the mother hiding behind a stack of goose-down comforters because she needs a break from her daughter. And yes, that mom was me several years ago.
Unfortunately, my child had me on a tracking app and quickly discovered my location. Her greeting upon seeing me was a long, drawn-out sigh accompanied by the question, “Why are you so weird?”
Right about then I really would have loved to have visited an “I Heart Mom” kiosk.
Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs @snarkynsuburbs, on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and on TikTok @snarkyinthesuburbs and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.