Pressure relief: When summer’s heat hits home, she reaches into her cool tool box

I’ve been suffering from summer seasonal depression. When the thermometer hits triple digits and the humidity is so thick I feel like I’m being suffocated by a woolly mammoth covered in mayonnaise, it’s time for me to scramble to my tried-and-true happy places as a way to cope.

Of course, air conditioning is my ultimate happy place in the summer. Next up would be the pool, but currently, pool water feels as refreshing as taking a swim in a bowl of lukewarm chicken noodle soup. And not even the good kind of chicken noodle soup. I’m talking about the faux chicken soup that comes from a packet where you just add water.

This means I had to call in my mood lifting heavy hitters — the three C’s: cakes, cookies and cobblers. The yummy power a cake with delicious American buttercream frosting has to elevate my happiness quotient is unparalleled.

Yet, I found that even the three C’s weren’t getting the job done so I had to reach into my reserves. I was calling in three of my most talented bench players.

First up was assorted Facebook group pages for parents of college students. These pages are a treasure trove of feel-good endorphins. To scroll through the questions and comments proffered by deluxe helicopter parents who are still attempting to micromanage and control every aspect of their legally adult child’s life is a balm for a weary soul.

Not only is it hilarious but it allows you to tell yourself that no matter what is happening in your life, at least you’ve never emailed all of your kid’s professors and demanded a meeting to “discuss their plan for your child’s collegiate success.”

I followed that up by binge watching some shows from the “Real Housewives” franchise. What can I say? It makes me happy to see grown women fighting over cheese. It also boosts my ego to have my long-held theory that continually squeezing your body into the spandex hell known as shape-wear can change your brain chemistry, thus lowering your IQ by at least 10 points.

Oh, trust me. I’ve done my research. If you watch the first season of each show the women seem smart, yet as the seasons progress, there is a definite downward trajectory in common sense and intellectual capacity. The fact that the one thing all these women have in common is a shape-wear addiction signals that the prolonged effect of compressing your internal organs is diminished brain function.

Rounding out my bench was my pressure washer. The joy I get from cleaning my deck with a pressure washer is substantial. It begins with the sound. The full-powered hum cleanses all the bad mojo rattling around in my frontal lobe. It’s so loud that even with hearing protection, it’s hard to process any deep thoughts or worries. This lets my brain enter a relaxing mode, where all I have to do is concentrate on getting the dirt out of the grooves in my white deck.

When I really feel the need to amp up the experience, I add in Dawn dish detergent to the mix. The thrill of soap suds combined with water pressure that’s at least 1,500 PSI is like watching a thousand tiny miracles happen before your very eyes.

I’m now pleased to report that a treatment plan of prolonged periods of AC, the three C’s and my trifecta of bench-warmers has resulted in me coming out of my summer funk. Honestly, I think pressure washing while eating chocolate chip cookies was the turning point, and thank goodness for that.

Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs, on Twitter at @snarkynsuburbs on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.