Her ‘Rally’ cry: She’s giving Girl Scout Cookie operation a big raspberry this year

Um, how did I not know about the Raspberry Rally? It’s the newest Girl Scout Cookie flavor that’s so amazing boxes are selling on sites like eBay for $40 per box. Apparently, it’s a Girl Scout Thin Mint minus the mint and instead “infused with raspberry flavor.”

The fact that I, a longtime and dedicated Girl Scout Cookie mega fan, wasn’t up to date on this new flavor has me worried. This is news I should have been breaking, not learning a solid month later. I also should have been one of the lucky few able to buy a couple of boxes before they sold out.

There’s no specific reason why I should have gotten the honor, aside from the fact that in the ’70s I was a Girl Scout Cookie super seller and my mother was the troop cookie mom for two years in a row. She would have probably put in more years as a cookie mom but for the issue that I ate a lot of the inventory, and it proved not only embarrassing but a little expensive for my family.

But forget that trip down memory lane and let’s focus on the present, which is that as it stands now, my chances of getting a box for the original purchase price of $6 is one of those dreams that I need to file under “never going to happen.” The two bakeries that make Girl Scout Cookies have announced that at this time, they’re not in the kitchen mixing up any more Raspberry Rally goodness.

One bakery, Little Brownie, seems like it’s currently experiencing a host of problems. First, it had labor shortages, then equipment snafus (as in, there were issues making the caramel-coconut cookie wonder that is the Samoa), and as the final coup de grace, last month the bakery had “weather related” power issues. All this has helped contribute to not just a Raspberry Rally shortage but an overall Girl Scout cookie shortage.

What this means for me is that for the first time in decades, many decades, during the months of February and March I have not consumed a single Girl Scout cookie. No Trefoils, no Tagalongs, no Do-si-dos, no Samoas and, most tragically, no Thin Mints.

Thin Mints were my first love and it’s been an intense affair from the start of our relationship. I remember all the stolen times we had together. The secret moments when I was a young child hiding under my bed, blissfully consuming an entire sleeve of cookies. In my adult years, where I’ve been known to keep a stash of Thin Mints in my car to use in case of an emergency.

Just so you know, I defined “emergency” as any instance when I needed the steadfast love of a loyal friend. So yes, the Thin Mint was often called into action.

Now I know many of you may be thinking that I need to turn my frown upside down because less cookie consumption equals fewer pairs of tight pants. You’re not wrong about that, but I still feel a sadness that’s piercing my very soul. It’s hard to go without a friend, especially one that’s full of minty goodness. And it’s also hard to be denied the opportunity to make a new friend. Raspberry Rally, I’m looking at you.

Who knows what kind of relationship we could have had. I doubt it would ever surpass my Thin Mint love, but I feel like we could have had something fun, maybe even a flirty spring fling, with your fresh berry goodness bringing a lightness to my life.

I guess I’ll have to wait to find out, but until that day comes please know, Girl Scout cookies, you are missed.

Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs, on Twitter at @snarkynsuburbs on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.