KC group creates ‘safe space’ for Black women to build connections through friendship
Dani Moore always found it easy to make friends when she was a child. Active in student government, band, and various other activities, she was constantly surrounded by new faces and formed connections. However, once she was older and out of school, she started to notice a shift. It became increasingly challenging for her, as a Black woman, to find spaces where she could connect with other Black women.
After joining a national social media group for Black women seeking friendships, Moore, 28, noticed that many women in Kansas City were also looking for similar connections. Inspired by this, Moore, a pharmacy analyst, decided to create a space in Kansas City for these women to come together. This led her to form Black Women Making Friends KC.
Since 2003, she has been organizing events designed to help Black women connect, build meaningful relationships, and foster a strong sense of sisterhood.
Recently Moore sat down with The Kansas City Star’s culture and identity reporter, J.M. Banks, to talk about the stereotypes surrounding the friendships of Black women and creating a place where they can meet and growing a sisterhood among Black women in KC.
Banks: Can you begin by telling me about your early life and upbringing?
Moore: I am the middle child of five siblings and grew up in a house with my two parents. I went to Washington High School on the Kansas side and I loved school. My mom was a teacher so I grew up loving to read and I was student council president. Because I was so involved in so many things, I had friends from so many crews. I had my band friends. I had my student body government friends. I had my scholars bowl friends and was known around by a lot of people because I was in so many things.
How did you come up with the idea of Black Women Making Friends KC?
There was a Facebook group that I joined about Black women making friends from all over and I noticed a lot of Kansas City ladies so we decided to make our own group chat. There was about five or six of us and I decided to make it into an actual group on Facebook in 2023 and it sort of evolved into a social club here in Kansas City for Black women.
Right now in the Facebook group we have 5,500 ladies. I believe in having good friendships and having a village. I have seen the negatives of friendships constantly spouted off about Black women and how we cant be friends. I read a lot of books about friendship and read a book called Sisterhood Heals. That book really helped spark my idea about sisterhood within us and that is really what made me build it to where it is now.
We are having events that have really good discussions about friendships. We hear stories about women who were taught that you shouldn’t be friends with Black girls because of drama and they can never get along.
Can you tell me what kind of events your organization puts on?
Last year was our first year doing our Black Girl Picnic that was held on the Nelson Atkins lawn. We are having a swimming party this year. We have a new series called Black Girl Connect next month and it is really just to have good conversations. Some of our events we have are brunches and paint and sips where you really can’t have those really good conversations and are more for socializing.
Last year we did Speed Besties and that is where we had like speed dating for friends. This year we decided to change it up with Black Girl Connect so that we all can talk and mingle.
We have Black-women-owned businesses as vendors so we can support our sisters who have businesses. We have our Pink Brunch, because I have a lot of family who have been affected by breast cancer so in October we do this event to spread awareness. Last year we got sponsored by the American Cancer Society and KU (University of Kansas) Cancer Center. They came and brought a spokesperson for their initiative for Black women, specifically in breast cancer and so we were able to have them at our Pink Brunch. We were able to have a talk with a lady who actually survived breast cancer and then we also walked at the American Cancer Society breast cancer walk. Also we have our Black Girl Tea Party that we have in April that has become a big event where we have a really nice tea party for Black women.
What is the atmosphere at these events like for the Black women in attendance?
We have a great time, we are laughing, we are dancing and we also have music playing. I just heard from so many women that they had such a great time. We want a light-hearted event where women are comfortable. I don’t ever want it to feel like some sort of clique. We always have new people and I always want to make it feel very comfortable for everyone. It is a very good vibe every single time.
Why do you think Black Women Making Friends KC has became so popular?
I believe there was a need for safe spaces for us and back then when we started the group chat it was right after the pandemic. We were all very isolated during that time and we found there were a lot of women who moved to Kansas City who didn’t know anyone and were looking for these spaces to connect with Black women.
I have noticed a lot of groups emerging since the pandemic because people saw the importance of community during that time. I think it is important to have those spaces for Black women because we are one of the most stigmatized groups of people who are constantly judged. So having those spaces where we can be ourselves and have those conversations is very important and I think a lot of people see that and want to be apart of that.
What are the challenges that you face in your career?
You get a lot of pushback because we want to have spaces for just us. We get a lot of comments on our page where people are really upset that we do this just for Black women.
How do you feel your work impacts the community around you?
I believe it creates a sense of comradery among us. I feel like it shows the community we are together on one accord. I think it also shows young Black girls we can get together and have friends without drama.
This year we are bringing back our Christmas event that we did the year before last. That was a free event for kids in the city to take pictures with a Black Santa Clause, have pancakes and we partnered up with some businesses that did activities with the kids. That was one of my favorite events because I really want to do things in the community.
We are partnering for Black History Month and doing a living legacy event at the end of this month. We are doing this with BLK + BRWN Books and the Ivanhoe neighborhood and being able to get stories from our elders.
Where do you believe the stereotype of Black women being unable to be friends came from?
It came from outside of us and it’s kind of like penetrated into us. It is kind of systematic mainly just like stereotypes about Black people or Black on Black crime. What other people said about us became the norm and we started to believe it. It is a generational thing because I have seen mothers tell that to their daughters and they grow up thinking they shouldn’t be friends with Black women.
What is your favorite part of organizing these events?
Seeing friendships flourish. I see them get together and they tell me all the time that they met at my event. Them telling me that makes me feel so good because that is exactly what I want, seeing someone make connections with someone else.
Do you have a personal motto or philosophy that guides you?
The only thing I keep in the back of my mind that keeps me going is I want the sisterhood to bloom with everyone. I believe sisterhood is very important and necessary for your life. That is what drives me to keep creating this space for women.
What are your organization’s goals for the future?
We hit our goal last year for growing the group. This year we have partnered with a lot of businesses, which would probably be our next step.
What advice would you give to someone who is looking to follow the same career path as yourself?
Start realistically and start small. Also be unique and think of a need and think of a unique way to meet that need.
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