Stressed about the election like everyone else, KC? Take break, eat, pray, cuddle
Raise your hand if you agree with what thousands of American adults are feeling and sharing on social media:
“I can’t wait for this (bleeping) election to be over.”
You don’t really need a poll to tell you that you, your family, neighbors, barber, pastor, Amazon driver, nail tech, waiter and the checker at the grocery store are stressing over what’s about to happen on Tuesday, Nov. 5.
The American Psychological Association says about 70% of your fellow Americans blame the presidential election for causing a significant amount of their current stress.
We’re a nation on edge.
So it’s time, Kansas City, to take a break before Tuesday. Spend some time with loved ones — no politics talk! Eat some good food. Go get a massage, or give yourself one. Netflix and chill.
Touch grass.
“Clinical research finds that the experience of uncertainty is a major driver of anxiety, and we’re all now living through a textbook case of collective uncertainty, the run-up to a close election with important consequences for the country,” said Stephen Ilardi, associate professor of psychology at the University of Kansas.
“The typical impulse in such situations is to focus our attention and energy on reducing uncertainty — poring over news stories and the latest polls, doom-scrolling, ruminating, and so on.
“But we need to resist that impulse. It won’t deliver the relief we’re seeking, and will usually only end up making us feel worse.”
More helpful, Ilardi said, “is to shift our focus to self-care — spending time in the company of friends and loved ones, getting outside each day to enjoy the beauty of nature and the uplifting effects of sunlight, prioritizing time for restorative sleep, savoring quality nutrient-rich foods ... etc.”
And no, he’s not talking about binging on junk food that will leave you feeling worse an hour or two later.
“During this election season it’s going to be really important to take a break,” said Bryan Richardson, a mental health therapist with Wyandot Behavioral Health Network, the community mental health centers serving Wyandotte County.
There’s a reason so many of us feel crappy.
Political campaigning is “designed to get our attention and it is designed to hold it by using some of our more basic emotions, anger, fear, anxiety,” said Richardson. “So if you’re feeling all those things it makes sense. You’re supposed to be feeling those things because that’s what they’re trying to elicit. So if you’re feeling a lot of that, take a break.
“Recognize that you’re not the only one feeling that, and especially the people on the other side ... the other person almost always feels the same way even if they think differently.
“We are all a little scared, we’re all a little anxious, and we all of us feel that need to be engaged and to not see our world change fundamentally in a way that we feel is going to threaten ourselves or our family. That’s at the core of why people vote the way they do.”
So we need to set limits for ourselves, Richardson said.
“If I’m on my phone five hours a day looking at different news feeds or looking at YouTube videos about different things, that’s all taking up my energy,” he said. “Your stress is trying to tell you ‘we’re working really hard internally to process all of this and it’s really hard.’
“That’s why your body is feeling uncomfortable. It’s trying to tell you to stop. So listen to your body. When you get stressed, take a break from that stress.
“Set the phone down. Turn the notifications off. Go get engaged in something in the moment, because almost always, when we experience anxiety, it is about the future or about the past. It’s not about what’s going on right here in this moment. So get into this moment, be mindful.”
Here are some ways to take care of yourself right now.
Move your body
“Of course, the most potent strategy for slamming the brakes on the body’s stress response is physical movement,” said Ilardi. “For those who are able, I’d suggest trying to walk for an hour each day between now and Election Day.”
The point is simple: move.
Turns out Elle Woods in “Legally Blonde” was right when she said, “exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.”
Get off TikTok. Seriously
Guaranteed you’re not going to find a mental health expert to encourage you to keep watching hours and hours and hours of political debates on TikTok and YouTube.
Put Harry, Dean and Charlie away for a while. (If you know, you know.)
“The way I think of it is, social media is designed at an algorithmic level to keep you engaged emotionally,” said Richardson. “They’re not showing you things that will spark your intellect.
“They’re showing you things that spark your emotions, whether that’s some sort of pleasure, some sort of pain, some sort of fear, it is there to spark ... the more basic urges and emotions.
“So if you are doing that all day long it’s kind of like running a mental marathon. Your brain is on a treadmill all day long and you get worn out. Just like you would not spend 10 hours at the gym, that would not be healthy, you need to take a break from the treadmill.”
Cuddle a puppy or kitten
Science tells us that petting a dog can lower cortisol, the stress hormone, increase the feel-good hormone of oxytocin and even lower our blood pressure, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.
In fact, the Aloft hotel chain is leaning into that canine magic by hosting “No Watch Puppy Parties” on Election Day at five of their hotels, where they will offer puppies from local shelters to cuddle.
Kansas City isn’t on the list, but Aloft has posted a 47-minute meditation video, featuring a furry white dog, on its social media to help people “relax and reset.”
And what about cats? The American Kennel Club says that cats are fuzzy stress relievers, too. Cats purr between a range of 20 to 140 Hz, “known to be medically therapeutic for illnesses in humans,” the AKC says.
“A cat’s purr can not only lower stress it can also help labored breathing, lower blood pressure, help heal infections, and even heal bones. For some it can be difficult to legitimize the positive effects on mental health that a cat can offer. But studies have shown and proven the physical effects are real.”
If you don’t have your own Whiskers to cuddle, Kansas City has “cat cafes.”
For $15 a person, you get a complimentary hot or cold beverage and an hour of cuddle time with kitties at Second Cup Cat Cafe in Olathe. The cafe partners with local shelters, so all the cats are adoptable.
Bonus for Election Day: Admission is half-price, $7.50, on Tuesdays.
Bake something
People did a lot of stress-baking during the pandemic, then slapped the hashtag #bakeyourmindoffit on social media posts showing off their baked goods.
Science tells us that baking can comfort us.
Everything in baking must be done with precision, so it’s difficult to think about anything else while you’re doing it. “There is a rhythm or pattern to baking,” clinical psychologist Mary McNaughton-Cassill told the foodie website Delish during the COVID shutdown. “It feels familiar and can even lead to a mindful state.”
That’s that thing called “mindfulness” — being aware of and engaged in the moment and not thinking about red and blue states and polls.
Plus, “the smell of spices and vanilla are comforting, and (they) often remind us of happy times,” the University of Texas at San Antonio professor said. “Olfactory scents are particularly linked to areas of the brain that involve emotions and memory.”
Need a new recipe? Here are cookie recipes The Star published last holiday season from two well-known home bakers: Taylor Swift (chai sugar) and Donna Kelce (chocolate chip).
A Hallmark Christmas movie, anyone?
The Kansas City weather forecast calls for rain over the weekend. So if you’re going to be stuck indoors, try some comfort viewing, or any activity that holds no surprise.
Richardson said his wife calls “Pride and Prejudice” her “comfort movie.”
“She can put it on in the background no matter what’s going on because she knows what’s going to happen. There’s no surprise. She knows exactly what’s going to happen in that movie, so it’s a comfort,” he said. “And that same thing can occur with this.
“If you’ve got a lot of stress, a lot of that stress is uncertainty — ‘I don’t know what’s coming down the pike, I don’t who’s to win, I don’t know what’s going to happen after they win.’
“So focus on something you do know exactly what’s going to happen. Maybe it’s a TV show, maybe it’s a comedy special, maybe it’s a book you’ve already read. Maybe it’s walking the same trail that you’ve walked a million times.”
Say a prayer
Prayer and meditation “are a great way to get in tune with what’s going on inside of you and trying to feel part of a greater whole,” said Richardson. “Even if it’s not faith-based or even if it’s not necessarily spiritual.
“The thing that spirituality, that faith, that church, the thing those give us is attachment to something larger than ourselves. If we’re engaged in the political process, that’s definitely bigger than us, but it can feel overwhelming and it can feel honestly defeating at times.
“But when you’re engaged in something spiritual or faithful or even something just community-based, where you feel like you’re part of something bigger than you that’s not necessarily holding the same risk as politics, it can be very empowering.
“It allows you to kind of let go of some of that self-anxiety as you explore being part of that bigger whole. Meditation is a way of doing that too, especially if you’re including nature.”
Being in nature has been linked to all kinds of health benefits. Lowering stress and boosting our mood are just a couple, according to the American Psychological Association.
“Nature has some profound impacts on our mood and on our physical and mental well-being. And it’s just as simple as being in a park or being around trees,” said Richardson. “There are particulates in the air that ... can affect the chemicals in our brain and so on. It’s really just kind of being outside. Getting that fresh air can be a dramatic improvement.”
Spend time with family and friends, but ...
Here’s Richardson’s caveat about surrounding yourself with family and friends right now.
If you don’t see eye-to-eye with them on politics, you need to chat first.
“Realistically, if this is a person you have a relationship with, have an honest conversation with them. And I don’t mean about the politics,” Richardson said.
“I mean, sit down with them and say, ‘Listen, this time is rough for both of us. I know that we disagree. And if you and I have a conversation about this, neither one of us is going to change our mind. And in reality, we may just get upset. So why don’t we make an agreement between each other to just stay off these topics for a little while?’”
Make your game plan
Those millions of Americans who tell survey-takers they’re losing sleep and their tempers mostly blame politics for their bad health.
Put bluntly, “politics isn’t very good for us,” Kevin B. Smith, a political science professor at the University of Nebraska–Lincoln who studies how politics affects well-being, says in a new American Psychological Association article.
Since so much of your stress and anxiety is over things you can’t control, mental health experts recommend reclaiming that control.
And this sounds so simple, but voting does that.
So get your Tuesday game-plan ready. Where is your polling place? What are the hours? Can you vote over the weekend?
Assemble a support squad to go with you. Make plans for election night. Are you watching results at home? Hosting a party?
And what will you do if the results aren’t known on Tuesday? What will you do if your side loses and you’re left with worthless yard signs and a whole bunch of anger?
“Find some small things that you can control. Some small things in your life like, ‘I know I can get the dishes done today. Regardless of who wins the election, my dishes are going to be done,’” said Richardson.
“Or there’s always the option of getting involved in your community non-politically. You can say, ‘You know, regardless of who wins this election there’s going to be people out there who need food, there’s going to be people out there who need warmth.’
“’Is there an organization in my community that lets me go out and do something for people so I feel like I’m engaged and I’m doing something, even if the government is what the government is?’”
Need more help? Some resources
If you need to talk to someone about your stress and anxiety, text “election” to 741741, the national Crisis Text Line. Trained, volunteer crisis counselors are there 24/7.
And remember the nationwide Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is there, too: Call or text 988 to link up with a mental health professional. (This used to be the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.)
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