Hey, Romeo: Popping the question but don’t know the answer? Here’s jewelers’ tip

There’s a guy out there somewhere on the hunt for a diamond ring because he is planning to pop the question to his unwitting girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. And he may be willing to pay big bucks for that ring.

And there are jewelers here in Kansas City who would tell that guy, “Don’t do that.”

Kevin Weaver, owner of The Polished Edge in the Power & Light District, warns that it could backfire, sticking that guy with an expensive piece of jewelry.

“If they aren’t talking about (getting engaged) already, he shouldn’t be buying a ring,” Weaver says. “If they’re not talking about it, it’s too early in the relationship. Three out of four times those rings come back. ”

In those instances, he says, he offers to sell them on consignment, which means the rejected groom gets his money back only when someone else buys it.

Gary Joslin, owner of Joslin’s Jewelry in Overland Park, loves the idea of love and guys who are in love. But for crying out loud, he says, use some common sense when you’re buying a ring.

“I’ve done two refunds in 35 years (because she said no),” he says. “I had a kid come in saying, ‘She’s going to say no, she’s going to say no.’ I said, ‘Then why are you going to ask her? You’re looking at $11,000 here, young man. My wife for 20 years doesn’t have an $11,000 diamond, and we’re in the business. You’re going to start with a $11K diamond. That’s insane.’ ”

That “kid” wrote the check. Sure enough, he was back in the shop a few days later, rejected ring in hand.

“You know why she told him no? Because he dumped his whole bank account on the ring. I would’ve told him no, too,” he says. “How are you going to stay married if you’re broke?”

But the story has a happy ending. “They’re married now, and she has a $4,000 ring and loves it.”

Even if the guy is a lawyer with an annual salary stretching well into the six digits, Joslin is not all that interested in selling him a ring.

“If you want something over $20,000, I will not help you,” he says. “My manager will help you. … You know who I want to help? That guy who has $1,000 in his pocket, and it means something to him.”

Both Weaver and Joslin poo-pooed the idea of spending three month’s salary on a ring. That was a marketing ploy created by DeBeers in the 1980s, they say.

They both suggest buying a diamond and having it mounted in a plain setting to serve as a placeholder during the proposal. Then they can bring the bride-to-be back to the shop to pick out the setting she wants.

“I’ll give you a mounting for a plain simple solitaire, with a solitaire purchased,” he says. “I’m going to send you home with a presentation ring because the girls will say yes to the rock. That’s what they want, the rock. If you pick out the wrong ring, she’ll tell you she loves it, she’ll tell me she hates it.”

According to several wedding planning websites, including the Knot.com, oval-shaped diamonds are the hottest sellers right now, though pear-shaped diamonds are making a comeback.

Other trends include rose-gold settings, settings with small diamonds in the band and east-west settings, where an elongated stone such as princess cut or marquise is set sideways on the ring.

Weaver says oval-shaped diamonds are so popular right now, he’s having a hard time getting them in. He was also in the process of mounting a 1  3/4 -carat pear-shaped diamond in a halo setting of smaller diamonds with diamonds in the band, another popular feature.

He’s also sold several blue irradiated diamonds recently, and says he’s getting a lot of requests for birthstone engagement rings. In those instances, he suggests getting a sapphire, which comes in all colors of the rainbow, but is far more durable than a peridot or aquamarine.

The ratio of sales of custom rings vs. ready-to-wear settings is about 50/50 at The Polished Edge, he adds.

As for that guy who has discussed marriage with his girlfriend and can pretty much count on a yes, he’ll be happy to help him pick out a ring, even with an elaborate setting.

“If he knows her well enough then he should know what she likes,” he says. “But if he doesn’t, he should call her best girlfriend and swear her to secrecy and have her come with him to buy the ring.”

This story was originally published January 25, 2018 at 6:38 AM with the headline "Hey, Romeo: Popping the question but don’t know the answer? Here’s jewelers’ tip."