The Conversation: Philanthropist and feminist Mary Kay McPhee seeks to lead a life with purpose

Mary Kay McPhee of Kansas City is a longtime philanthropist and advocate for women and minority rights. McPhee was instrumental in founding the Starr Women’s Hall of Fame at University of Missouri-Kansas City, and has spearheaded community support for the Greater Kansas City AIDS Council and Kansas City Free Health Clinic. She was honored this month by City Union Mission as one of the “Women Who’ve Changed the Heart of the City.” McPhee and her husband, Bill Pfeiffer, have also donated reference books and paintings to the Miller Nichols Library. This conversation about generational differences in attitudes toward feminism and volunteerism took place at the couple’s 11th-floor Country Club Plaza condominium.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? Do you use that word?

Yeah (Laughs). Yes, I do. I do. I think most of us can see that it is not a level playing field. Sometimes when people speak up it is misunderstood. I think most often today women step back and don’t speak up or don’t speak up as often as they should.

How do you feel when younger women move away from the term “feminist” or say they don’t like it?

I don’t know why they say that. I really can’t respond to it, because I don’t understand why anyone would object to that term. It’s a matter of equity, and it’s a matter of having your voice heard and respected.

What is the most important issue women should be working on today?

OK. (Pauses) I better not say.

Please tell us.

You know what I really think? I think over the past two decades the community, including men in the community, have stood up for women’s voices big time and are making good things happen for women. I think right now we need to be focused on young men.

Why?

When I look at the high school girls and high school guys that are entering the university (UMKC), it is the young men that we need to lift up.

Lift up how?

With scholarships and helping give them confidence. I think the young men in high school are pushed and pulled by their peers — and that’s been true forever, so that’s not different — but I think they need encouragement. A lot of time they don’t have a stable family, and they need the community to say, “We believe in you.”

Because women are better off when the men are educated and successful.

Exactly.

Where did you get your passion for women’s equality? Was your mother a women’s libber?

I didn’t get it from her necessarily. My mother was adorable. I am a child of the ’30s. I was among the fortunate. I lived in Topeka, but my mother was employed, so I had two employed parents during the Depression, which set us apart. We were far from wealthy, but we had food. But my mother was a creative person. My mother worked for the publisher of The Topeka Daily Capital (now The Topeka Capital-Journal), and he also published something called Capper’s Weekly. She had an interesting job — they had a lot of contests, like “How many words can you make out of this word?” or “Put the last line on this limerick,” and she was the judge for those contests. She was a dictionary person.

The list of organizations, charities, foundations and community groups you are involved in would fill the whole space of this column. Why do you feel you need to do so much?

I just do what people of my generation do.

What do you mean by that?

I think because during the Depression, that was a time when everybody helped each other. There was always another place at the table, even though money was very tight. And then you moved right into World War II, where it was required that everybody volunteer, everybody work, everybody sacrifice. So I’m not different from anyone else who lived those years.

Isn’t it ever tempting just to relax and be retired?

Not for me. I think people need to lead a purposeful life and contribute to the common good.

This story was originally published April 25, 2015 at 7:00 AM with the headline "The Conversation: Philanthropist and feminist Mary Kay McPhee seeks to lead a life with purpose."