KC native Chris Cooper understands ‘Demolition’ character’s grief

With 30 years of acting experience behind him and an Oscar (for 2002’s “Adaptation”) on the mantel, Kansas City native Chris Cooper has the luxury of picking only those roles that offer something special.

Even if that something special is connecting with the sort of pain most of us would avoid at any cost.

In “Demolition” (opening Friday, April 8) Cooper stars with Jake Gyllenhaal in a story about different ways in which people react to the death of a loved one.

In the film from director Jean-Marc Vallee (“The Dallas Buyers Club,” “Wild”), Gyllenhaal plays Davis, a young broker working at the Wall Street firm run by his father-in-law, Phil (Cooper). When Davis’ wife dies in a car accident, the two men battle with grief and with each other.

Cooper had plenty of real-life emotion to draw from for his performance as a mourning father. In 2005, the actor’s only child, Jesse Cooper, died in his sleep at age 17.

Jesse had cerebral palsy and was a paraplegic, but he had a fierce intellect that was celebrated in “Jesse,” the best-selling book written by Cooper’s wife, actress Marianne Leone.

“Professionally speaking, I’ve kept a respectable distance from having lost my son,” Cooper said. “I thought that after 10 or 11 years this was something I could at last deal with.”

In the aftermath of his wife’s funeral, Gyllenhaal’s Davis finds he cannot grieve. He’s numb.

In fact the only time he really feels alive is when he is engaging in destructive behavior — like renting heavy tools and demolishing the suburban home he shared with his wife.

For Cooper’s character, whose mourning takes a more traditional path, his son-in-law’s actions are infuriating and disrespectful. Which leads to some intense hand-to-hand acting duels between the two performers.

It’s a juicy role, Cooper said in a recent telephone conversation, because while Phil has only a handful of scenes, each one is essential and emotionally packed.

“The film is like a study in people’s different reactions to grief,” Cooper said. “I kind of touched on that in ‘August: Osage County’ with my character losing my friend, played by Sam Shepard.

“Reading the script I felt so much empathy for Phil. He reacted to tragedy the way I reacted to my own loss.”

But while the performance allowed him for the first time to tap into parental feelings he had never aired in front of the camera, Cooper said the experience couldn’t be described as cathartic.

“That question is often asked. ‘Was it cathartic?’ The answer is no,” he said.

“It’s something that is always going to be there. There are good days and there are bad days. The emotions are always there. They’re not going away.”

Cooper said that for him a big joy of acting lies in researching the role. To play Phil he hung out with real Wall Street finance types.

“We filmed in an office building in Tribeca, and the other half of the floor where we were working was occupied by an operating investments firm. So I got to spend a lot of time observing what made these guys tick.”

Another plus was the chance to work once again with Gyllenhaal. “Demolition” is the third film they have made together.

“I worked with Jake when he was just 16 when I played his father in ‘October Sky.’ A few years later we worked together in ‘Jarhead.’ And we often run into each other at different events.

“By this time he feels like a distant nephew. Jake’s just a sweetheart and he’s become a really gentlemanly young man. And his work choices have only become stronger and stronger.”

There’s plenty more of Chris Cooper on tap. He can currently be seen in the Hulu series “11.22.63” as Al Templeton, a man dying of cancer who has discovered a time portal and hatched a plan to travel back to 1963 to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

In the upcoming “Live by Night,” directed by Ben Affleck from a novel by Dennis Lehane (“Mystic River”), Cooper plays a corrupt Prohibition-era police chief.

And in “Coming Through the Rye,” Cooper plays reclusive novelist J.D. Salinger (“Catcher in the Rye”).

He continues to work with his wife as advocates for children who have conditions like Jesse’s.

“Marianne talks to groups of as many as 400 bereaved families who have lost dear ones. But for children with cerebral palsy the story hasn’t changed much in 11 years. The technology is advancing, but actual medical treatment not so much.

“I always wonder what great things Jesse could have done with an iPad.”

Cooper said he doesn’t concern himself with his career trajectory.

“I’ve never been the guy who tried to line up three or four projects down the road. I like to find one piece that speaks to me, and then pour my heart and soul into it.

“Then I come home, recoup and relax.”

This story was originally published April 2, 2016 at 3:00 AM.