Matches of Unusual Size? In Kansas City? Frankly, I didn't believe they could exist as recently as two months ago.

Well, I was wrong. This one is big*. It's bigger than

Charlie Sheen's bank account , James Spader's forehead

and the combined weight of the patrons of a Golden Corral during a Sunday lunch rush.

*Here are some other words to describe this match, feel free to use them to impress your friends or expand your vocabulary toady: colossal, commodious, copious, enormous, immense, mammoth, massive, mondo, oversize, substantial, walloping, whopping.

Kickoff is bright and early at 3 p.m. The crowd is expected to exceed capacity (the team released standing-room only tickets on Friday). If you can't make it out, Callum Williams and Jake Yadrich will have the call on KSMO-TV. (Make sure you note the

parking situation

before leaving. It could be a zoo.)

LAST FIVE MATCHES

Kansas City W-L-T-W-T (8 points)