The Full 90

Worst part of the group stage? Two games, one time

Today is my second-least favorite day in the Cup: Trying to track two meaningful games at once. I understand the reason behind it (of course,

the Germans

are at fault) and am just complaining as a fan who would like to watch both games. Speaking of watching the games, I'm confused as to how ESPN is going to force so many Americans to watch both games simultaneously. I can only assume, given some of the anti-soccer outrage I've read here, on Twitter and elsewhere, that everyone in this country is being forced to endure "Clockwork Orange"-style each and every buzzing vuvuzela minute of a sport they, for the most part, obviously don't enjoy.

Wait... that isn't happening? You mean people have a choice? Can't be. How else could you explain

the World Cup ratings

this year? It couldn't be that people, gasp, are actually watching it because they enjoy it. Nah... can't be. Enjoy the game(s) if you love the game(s).*

*If that's not the case, the NFL Network is showing the 2004 NFC Divisional Playoff game between the Carolina Panthers and the St. Louis Rams right now.