Red Zone

This week’s opponent: Second-best suits the Bills

Ah yes, those ultimate also-rans, the hard-luck Bills of Buffalo.

Now, we know those Bills fans are a prideful sort, and that we’ll probably raise their hackles with this week’s “why we hate your team” screed, but no matter. It must be done. When have you known us to shirk our trash-talking duties?

Besides, being the focus of our weekly rant won’t hurt nearly as bad as the four Super Bowls they played in and lost in the early 1990s.


1. You throttled our Montana!

The Chiefs made it to the AFC Championship Game following the 1993 season but were promptly run over by the Bills. Insult became injury when Joe Montana was concussed early in the third quarter; Buffalo then scored 10 unanswered points in the fourth to seal a 30-13 victory.

2. Your wings? O-ver-rat-ed!

Enough with the hot wings already. Just ask columnist Sam Mellinger. He’ll tell you something to the effect of, “The Peanut’s are better.” And he’ll be right.

3. They’re really ‘The Jills’?

Cheerleaders? Great idea. Calling your cheerleaders “The Jills” because they’re female and Jills rhymes with Bills? Er, uh, um ... yeah.

4. No one cares in Toronto

Some years ago, this great notion was hatched that the Bills should play one “home game” each season in Toronto. Well guess what: Folks in the Great White North would rather watch the Argonauts score a rouge against the Alouettes (real CFL term, people — look it up). Attendance at Rogers Centre declined each year, and now this “cherished” tradition is on ice.

5. You thought KC was cold

Speaking of ice, what fan in his right mind would pay to watch the likes of Kyle Orton throw snowballs to rookie first-rounder Sammy Watkins and a bunch of no-name receivers at outdoor Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y.? Of course — Bills fans!