Red Zone

Laughable Lambs: Why we don’t like St. Louis, or its football team

Austin Davis, who has taken over for Sam Bradford this season in St. Louis, has had his ups and downs this fall.
Austin Davis, who has taken over for Sam Bradford this season in St. Louis, has had his ups and downs this fall. Philadelphia Inquirer

Editor’s note: Each week, we smack-talk the Chiefs’ next opponent with five things we don’t like about that opponent. Here’s this week’s installment ahead of Sunday’s game against the Rams at Arrowhead Stadium.

First of all, St. Louis.

That’s reason enough to hate the Rams.

But it wouldn’t be like us to stop there. No sir.

We know that most of the contempt between KC and the Gateway City flows east along Interstate 70, but we also feel a little empathy toward St. Louis sports fans. Every time they turn around, one of their pro sports teams seems to be angling for a way out of town.

Just this week, Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio reported that the Rams are considered the most likely NFL team to relocate to Los Angeles.

Who could blame them for wanting to leave a stadium our friends at Deadspin once referred to as “The Junior Kingdome”?

Enough with the small talk. Here are five reasons to despise the Rams.

1. Sam Bradford

Sorry kid. You represent all that’s wrong with St. Louis Rams football. You scored a $50 million contract to get hurt every year and generally underachieve when you’re healthy. Which you’re not. And to think, you were so fun to watch as a Sooner.

2. St. Louis-style food

St. Louis people who think they’ve got good barbecue need to have their heads examined. That processed cheese/vomit they cook onto their pizza must be playing with their minds.

3. The Dome

Why this financial services company would want its name plastered on Alcatraz of the Midwest is beyond us. Wasn’t there a nice landfill available?

4. Mrs. Warner

Kurt Warner’s playing days are long since passed, but we still can’t shake the memory of his drill seargent wife barking out orders to the local radio station. Tell us the truth, Kurt: She wears the pants in the family, right?

5. And the BFIB

No “Why We Hate The Lou” rundown would be complete without a stout mention of the self-proclaimed “Best Fans in Baseball.” Relegated to watching DVDs of postseasons gone by, perhaps they should climb aboard the bandwagon for the Best Baseball Team in Missouri.