If you are reading an actual newspaper, you are most likely my age or older, and appreciate the finer things in life. Fine dining, fine wine and funny Facebook memes (aka photos with clever sayings on them).
When I have free time, my husband and I flip on the phones and peruse Facebook, and the Thanksgiving posts did not disappoint for sure. Not that I had time to open Facebook over the few days designated to Thanksgiving because I was busy cranking out pies. But since my husband is in the FB know, he passed on to me the big news of 2018.
Knowing from several days before the Center for Disease Control had warned there was a nationwide ban on romaine lettuce, I wasn’t surprised when my husband told me, “The CDC has announced that pie is better for you than salad.”
“Really? That’s awesome,” I said, my mind whirling in delight. Since I am what you might call a creative type, statements that include pie and salad in an old-fashioned duel, with pie coming out the winner, my mind turns off my listening capabilities and creates a delightful quiet sitcom in my head.
So later when when I’m delivering my trunkful of pies to our Thanksgiving family gathering, I’m reminded of the CDC and begin spouting off to everyone as if the CDC has really made an epic funny. You’d think I’d check my sources, but we’re going to blame the white wine.
Now hopefully by the third or fourth time I’d told my CDC story of pie winning over salad, you’d think someone would have said, “I saw that, too, on Facebook. That was hilarious!” Or my husband might have heard me spouting out fake news and would have pulled me over to the side and quietly let me in on the truth. But neither of those happened.
So this morning when I decided to write about the CDC and how they have taken up comedy, my Google search efforts fell flat. After searching for that quote for way too long, I was forced to ask my hubby at work where he got his source.
“Must be Facebook,” he texted me. Next I searched for the CDC quote on Facebook to no avail. Then I see it… the meme with no author to acknowledge and a photo of a huge pie with the embarrassing words that made my ears turn red, “The CDC just announced that pie is basically safer to eat than salad.”
It was a joke. A joke I declared to too many relatives and friends was in fact, a fact. Darn, that Facebook… or that chardonnay.
So… how many pies did I make for Thanksgiving you ask? Three. One traditional apple, one pumpkin and a Dutch cherry crumb pie that was spectacular. Due to the romaine lettuce nationwide ban, there were no salads on our feast table and that is enough proof for me. From that I have accurately deduced that pies are better for you than salad.
You read it here. Feel free to tell your friends.
Stacey Hatton can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org after she finishes off the pie leftovers and comes out of her Thanksgiving sugar coma.