Well, it’s here: July 5, the very worst day of the year. That’s right, July 5 reeks especially if you’re a kid who counts the weeks until school starts. This day signals that summer is halfway over. I don’t even know if the math is 100 percent accurate, but I do know that if you mention July 5 to almost any child, they’ll sigh.
It’s just as bad for adults. I feel a panic attack coming on. Summer halfway over?
How’s that possible? I’ve done next to nothing on my summer to do list. The big basement purge and remodel I planned, umm, yeah, I’ve accomplished a great big zero. The baseboard, molding and wainscoting mega cleaning of 2017? That’s another not happened yet. I would go on, but I’m making myself sad.
I’ll need a tissue if I enter into the self-improvement territory where I was going to attempt to more patient and crush it in the workout arena. Then there’s my list of trying to upgrade my kitchen game with new recipes that inspire good health. OK, I need that Kleenex now because again I’ve, let’s just say, not been dedicated to making any of that a reality.
And truth be told I fear I’ve gotten less patient. I prefer to not examine why and instead just blame my increasing impatient nature on family members who, if they did exactly what I said, would result in me being infinitely more “chill.”
To make matters worse July is when you start getting all the school notices. I get it Blue Valley. I know I can go online and pay my myriad of fees. Thanks for the daily email reminders.
P.S.: That all-encompassing “activity fee” has always seemed a bogus to me. Why wouldn’t students pay per activity they do? To me that makes more sense than assessing every kid a fee. What if a child doesn’t do school activities because, let’s say, a kid is dancing close to 40 hours a week? Just asking, you know, for a friend.
Now brace yourself for this breaking news, like at the very least grab onto something, because I saw Target prepping their school supply aisles. Nothing, absolutely nothing, kicks summer right in the gut like school supplies being trotted out. When you see aisles of number two pencils, spiral and composition notebooks and shiny new backpacks you know it’s the beginning of the end for summer.
It doesn’t even matter if you don’t plan on buying your supplies until the day before school starts; just the fact that they’re on display is like a beacon of doom. For those of you who might be thinking of waiting till Aug. 14 to get your supplies, I urge you to reconsider.
It’s a classic avoidance strategy that you’ll regret because good luck finding anything on your list. The supplies will be picked over as if a herd of zombies rambled through and discovered erasers were just as enticing as human flesh.
The lack of supplies could also stress you out to such an extent that you might accidentally pick up the supply list for Lakewood Middle School instead of Leawood Middle School and not realize it until your child goes to school. (Don’t ask me how I know this.)
Guess what? I’m going to turn this day around. Instead of viewing it as the demarcation point that summer is halfway over. I’m going to use it as a motivator. Today, I’m going to get stuff done.
Oh yeah, watch out world. I’m going to be all over my summer list! The first stop is my basement — but first a Popsicle.
Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@ gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs, on Twitter at @snarkynsuburbs and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.