Donkey offers more than Kardashians do in calendar

Hey, if the Kardashian sisters can have a calendar, why not Ebenezer?

What is it they do again?

What Ebenezer does is stand around, for a lot less money. For more than a quarter century, the old donkey has been in his little pasture along a creek on Grandview’s west edge, silently beckoning passing strangers to stop and visit.

And without really knowing why, they do. He just looks like somebody they’d like to talk to.

They talk, he listens. He’ll playfully head-butt if the conversation dries up or he thinks the guest may have a treat. Pat him and watch the dust fly.

Last year, when Ebenezer’s health took a bad turn, his many friends raised several thousand dollars to build him a new barn and to fix his teeth and hooves.

This year, some of those friends have come up with the “Ebenezer 2012” calendar. It costs more than the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” version — $17 to $10.49, but let’s compare the two.

On the Kardashian cover, sisters Kourtney, Kim and Khloe wear short, black dresses and sassy, sultry looks.

Actually, that’s pretty much every picture. Not a lot of action. They stand, squat and sit.

Ebenezer, on the other hand, works for his photos.

For January, he trudges though snow. In May, he peeks through a tree fork. July has him wearing an Uncle Sam hat. For November he nuzzles a little girl, and December has him back in deep snow.

But Ebenezer has always been one to get out of the barn. He likes fresh air and car honks. He has deer buddies in the woods. And he never knows when some lonely human is going to come to the fence.

He’s done less of all those lately.

“He had a rough summer, but he’s doing better now,” Shirley Phillips, referring to a bad arthritis flareup, said Thursday evening at the barn.

She took over primary guardianship last year when Ebenezer’s owner, a World War II veteran with health problems of his own, could no longer manage regular drives to the pasture.

Phillips and others now rotate days to feed and care for Ebenezer. They would like to sell at least a hundred of his calendars to raise money for feed and vet bills. The calendars can be purchased at May Milling Co., 606 Main St., Grandview.

The Kardashian calendar is for sale on Amazon.com. It’s about $7 less than Ebenezer’s and, as added value, it’s for 16 months.

Twelve probably would have been plenty. By September, the sisters look plumb out of come hither.

That month for Ebenezer? He’s walking a fence row with a straw hat on his head.