I have some shame and regret that I need to purge from my soul. For you see, I have done someone very, very wrong.
I have doubted this person’s judgment, even questioned his career choice and openly mocked his forecast. Yes, forecast because I’m talking about meteorologist Gary Lezak.
For years, Gary has been my weather BFF; one might even say my climate prognosticator crush. But back in November I turned on Gary like a category five hurricane and now I stand before all of you, inviting the shaming I so richly deserve for doubting the wonders of Gary Lezak.
It all started in late fall with the much-anticipated announcement of the Lezak Recurring Cycle. This is when Gary announces his winter forecast based on November weather activity. It’s some sort of scientific thing that I think he has been doing for 30 years.
Well, when Gary came out with the forecast that Kansas City was in for a whopper of a winter I not only laughed out loud. I chided him.
Not to his face, of course, because we have never met. I have only admired him from afar, but still chiding is chiding. It doesn’t matter if it’s not in person.
But wait for it, because my betrayal gets worse. Not only did I scoff at his forecast, I cheated on him with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Yeah, that’s right I went all in, embraced even, the NOAA forecast that predicted a mild winter.
Oh, how could I have been so wrong?
The guilt I now feel is immense. I’ve tried to make excuses for my behavior and in some part I think they maybe be a tad valid. After all, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten up close and personal with winter. Hello, last year it was in the freaking 70s in February and schoolchildren experienced so few snow days that many wondered if such a thing even existed.
Talk of a snow day in Kansas City was like a unicorn — awesome to think about it but not actually real. So, it’s understandable that back in early November I would poke fun at a winter forecast that predicted “brutally cold arctic air,” and “multiple snow storms.”
My most shameful moment was when Gary offered up the advice that “snow and cold weather gear would be great items to add to your holiday shopping list.” I howled and jokingly threatened my children with snow shovels as Christmas presents because “Gary Lezak says they would make wonderful gifts.”
I’m now begging Gary’s forgiveness for having the hubris to question the wonder of the Lezak Recurring Cycle. As I shoveled 8 inches of heavy, heavy, snow from my driveway in mid January, as I shivered in negative-4-degree weather on Jan. 31 I attempted, each time, to weep huge, sorry, soggy tears of anguish for doubting Gary but the tears froze immediately upon exiting my eyes.
It was as if even my own ducts were punishing me for not trusting my weather buddy.
As the schools came perilously close to hitting a record number of snow days and the metro was ravaged by the worst winter storm damage in eons I questioned my loyalty and my sanity. How could I have doubted the wisdom of my weather guru?
As we inch closer to spring I want to publicly ask Gary for forgiveness. I promise, moving forward, that I will never doubt the Lezak Recurring Cycle. Its winter mastery and majesty has proven to be unquestionable.