Q: I admit my boyfriend isn’t perfect, but he says that once we’re married he’ll stop drinking and find a good job and everything. My parents say I shouldn’t believe him, but how do they know? I think he really loves me. — E.N.
A: I may not give you the answer you’re hoping for, but to be frank, if he really loved you he’d make every effort to change his life right now. The Bible says, “Wisdom will save you … from men whose words are perverse” (Proverbs 2:12).
Over the years I’ve received countless letters from men and women whose spouses promised to change once they were married but never did. Instead, they turned out to be concerned only for themselves, and once they were married, they didn’t see any reason to change. They also had little respect for their spouse’s needs and concerns, and in many cases proved unfaithful to their wedding vows. They ignored the Bible’s teaching that “Love is patient, love is kind. … It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
The most important advice I can give you, however, is to seek God’s will for your marriage. If God loves you (and he does), can’t he be trusted to guide you in this all-important area of your life? Of course he can, because he knows your needs, and he wants what is best for you.
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Don’t go down the wrong road, no matter how tempting it seems right now. Instead, turn your life over to Jesus Christ, and seek his will for your future. Then have the courage to confront your boyfriend with his need for Christ, and to break off your relationship if he refuses. God’s way is always best, and he can be trusted to lead you to the spouse of his choice.
Write “My Answer,” Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; or go to BillyGraham.org.